I should probably learn Chinese

Okay let's face it. China is going to take over sooner or later thanks to their large population and industrial sect where almost all things are just manufactured due to the cheap borderline slave assembly lines they have working in their many factories. Also they've got a lot of damn money and the United States owes them... a lot of money. There is going to be a huge World War or Something sooner or later. And by something I mean Action movie exciting something, maybe even an exciting Cold War where they'll be an international stand off as the World holds it breathe as China and America point Nukes at each other.

I was raised to believe that when there is tension between countries that there is always going to be a war and a handsome protagonist is going to fight for the name of freedom and live forever as President of America or whatever nation is promoting freedom, democracy and whatever civil and human rights and liberties people seem to cherish. (This is what happens when you're raised by Hollywood blockbusters) It's all going a little too well for humanity for there not to be a World War, I mean there was only about 30 years between the first World War and the second one, so what is taking so damn long for this third one?

Oh right, because if we have a Third World War and probably final World War, we would all be bombed back into the stone age. It would be like a huge reset button would be pressed and whatever is left will inherit in the earth, whether it be ants, cockroaches or mole people. But that's just human nature, one of the best quotes in the Call of Duty games is one from Albert Einstein (It's messed up that I'm learning historical quotes from a vapid hollow video game series like Call of Duty).

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." - Albert Einstein

Maybe I should learn Chinese... Maybe I should learn both forms of Chinese, Cantonese and Mandrin?


How do I say "I surrender and will willing submit the locations and valuable key information about high ranking government officials?"

With a basic grasp of Chinese I will be able to negotiate my worth in a more eloquent way. Plus I will seem smart for learning a essential language as I use it to flatter them. But I'll probably even understand why Kevin Rudd seems pretty cold on them, wasn't he quoted saying "These Chinese Fuckers are trying to Rat Fuck Us". That is a freaking amazing quote. There had to have been a reason for him to use that beauty of an off the cuff response. Should I just expect the worse if I did start cozing up to the might of the Red Army?



What goes on in China is great mystery to most in the Western World. I have no idea to what extent their censorship of western media, society and general lifestyle is under their dictatorship regime but I assume it would be vast. There is this thing called the Great Firewall of China now where no new information seems to be leave or entering China. Their government has a tight lid on what they show to their residents and frankly if I spoke Chinese I could feel like a government spy if I ever visited China. I could watch their television and see their movies and get a general idea of what differences they would share in civil liberties compared to those not raised and born in a somewhat oppressive communist regime.



Just quietly I've always liked the principality of Communism. I can see why the Soviets transferred to that type of government after World War 1 because they were broke. They had nothing left, they spent all their money and resources on arming themselves and had used up a ton of natural land resources defending their home from the invading Axis troops. Russia basically had nothing left so they decided that sharing would be a good idea and far be it for me to say that sharing is wrong. Communism should in theory but there is always human nature to contest with when it comes to theories. Mainly the Human sin of Greed. But that's another can of Worms to talk about on another day.

Props if you managed to read all that mental diarrhoea... Looking back on all that I probably should've just kept my mouth shut and made an entry about Cats wearing clothes.

Weekly Wrap Up: Star Wars Day

I've never seen Star Wars. Well I haven't seen it in the sense that I did actually try and sit down one time to watch it but I was 17 and drunk. You know what teenagers are like when they're drunk... We don't care about anyone else's opinion, property or well being and all we want to do is drink more alcohol because we're irresponsible assholes. I like to think I've grown since then but I have still yet to see a Star Wars movie in full.

Yep, I'm going to admit that on Star Wars Day. Every time it was on television as a kid I just... didn't care. I paid no attention to it because it was the 90s and it (a) wasn't a Cartoon and (b) it didn't star Arnold Schwarzenegger. (I spelt his last name wrong but Firefox spell check had that as the top option, Awesome)

Today is May the 4th as in May the Force be with you. Like the nerdy version of prayer, back when the world use to look up to George Lucas as a God. Before he continued to disfigure and cut up his beloved Star Wars franchise with poorly adapted Prequels and unnecessary edits of already amazing films. I haven't seen a Star Wars film but thanks to just being a pop culture nerd, it's hard not to know what goes on Star Wars.

I've seen Star Wars Robot Chicken... If anything that's better than actually watching the original. I've played Knights of the Old Republic and Battlefront. Do I really actually need to watch these films? Probably not, but I have no nerd cred and thus my opinion on all matters nerdy are thus null and void.

Well honestly, besides the release of the Avengers there wasn't really much going on this week? Well not in my world anyway. I did fail to mention ANZAC Day last week, which I guess makes me a bad person. But seriously the idea that Two-Up is only legal on that day really just had me thinking. The Soldiers died for their country and the right to get pissed and win money on coin flips. In fact that really is the definition of being Australian.

But other than that, Happy Star Wars Day... Here's some MC Chris.



This Week on the Internet:

BATMAN!!

Batman... I don't really need to say much. I'm going to see this movie and I'm now wondering if it can even top the Avengers.

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All Cars are Girls

Well I've been following Khyan for some time now and well this videos just need more recognition in my opinion. A great new upload from a up and coming youtube star.

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Internet Meme launches Rap Career

Internet Meme Scumbag Steve is a simple series of jokes about Scumbag behaviour in people done under the guise of a douchey looking guy you'd expect this type of behaviour from. This was basic the evil opposite of Good Guy Greg.

Well about the photo of that douchey guy known as Scumbag Steve. Well he's releasing music on his website as he kicks off his weekly song release.

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DJ Porter reminds me that Usaain Bolt is kinda Awesome

Fastest Man on Earth is from Jamaica? Will his career be made into a feel good movie like their boob sled team? Nah I got nothing, sweet mix from DJ Porter though.

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Journalism is Dead: Another sad story from the Internet

Truly a heartbreaking story, I'd love to know the motive behind the attack but the fact that it has yet to receive any mainstream media attention is rather shocking to me. Had this happened here in Australia this would've been everywhere. Heck, the coverage would've raised awareness and home security systems would just start flying off the shelves.

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Go Right

For all those Old School side scrolling gamers out there, you live by one rule. There's the Easy Way and then there's the Right Way.

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May 14th is Roller coaster Day

Freddie Wong is championing Roller coaster Day, now living in Sydney. We don't have any Roller coasters any more. Those all god shipped off to Thailand or somewhere in the Pacific Rim when they shut down and closed Wonderland. My Childhood died that day.

But I haven't been on a Roller coaster in years, I literally have a sick craving to go to Dreamworld or wherever the Closet amusement park and ride a Rollercoaster on May 14th... I like to feel like I'm a part of something, don't you take this away from me. Don't judge me.

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Kate Upton is still Hot

Terry Richardson takes photos... And videos of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models dancing. This man is clearly doing God's work.

In other news Kate Upton is still ridiculously attractive. It actually makes me mad that she's 19... I don't know why though, I think it's envy or jealousy or a combination of both. Gotta give it up though, she can dance.



Yeah Gurl... I'd like to teach you how to Dougie... on your back... Yeah!

had to get one inappropriate comment in there. Manliness Reclaimed!

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Old Ladies watching Porn

If those gals had their own show... I'd watch it. This is just hilarious watching these women honestly comment and critique Kim Kardashian at Sex. It's almost like watching the View years later when they've stopped caring and someone has hidden their meds.

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Obama tells some jokes

I... I had no idea that Obama was so up for making jokes about himself and everyone else like that. Just more proof that he is still America's Coolest President.

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Rex Velvet Real life Super villain

If you love Superheroes as much as me and live on the internet you might have heard about Phoenix Jones. The Seattle based Superhero that goes around the streets fighting crime. Phoenix Jones has assembled his own group of costumed vigilantes to help him fight crime. Now this Rex Velvet that seems to be a bored Theatre Major wants in on the action.

Now you're probably thinking that this is just some weird shit and I shouldn't bother giving the crazy people my attention. But come on, I'm sure you've seen Superhero movies like Kick-Ass or Batman where one regular man who has had enough of the injustice in the World takes it upon themselves. There was a really good documentary about this released last year called SUPERHEROES. I highly recommend it.



Heck I might just make a separate entry on Real Life Superheroes.

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An Awesome Dog video

Just quietly, Dogs rule..... Cats Suck.

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AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! (Review)

The Avengers is a damn good movie

No other way to put it. After many years of build up with the 5 previous Tie in movies of Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man II and Captain America the Avengers has arrived and everyone loves it. As much as I claim to be a movie buff (I'm not). I use to watch a lot of movies but I never really appreciated them that you would adequately review a film to where you could point out specific film techniques and how well it was paced and the performance of the actors and all that junk that would legitimise a film review. All I know is I saw this movie 8 days ago when it came out and I'm still agonising over what to tell people about it. This movie in a word... is Awesome.

I honestly don't trust my own judgement and ability to portray my exact feelings adequately so Here is Neil Cumpston's review of the Avengers, a legendary internet movie reviewer from Ain't it Cool in the sense that his reviews aren't really reviews. They are like crazy hobo fever dream ramblings written by a coked up English major frat boy that hasn't sleep in the past 3 days but really needs to get this paper done before he passes out.



Regardless here is my poorly planned and rambling review of the 2012 Marvel film, The Avengers.

I was literally expecting one of two things, either a freaking train wreck of a film or at least something just tolerable and watchable that it wouldn't offend me too much. I wasn't expecting such a complex and well structured action movie. Now I was expecting the Avengers to be all about Robert Downey Jr and it basically being Iron man 3 because let's face it Robert Downey Jr is one hell of a talent and frankly he's Awesome. There is something magnetic about his film presence and his portrayal of Tony Stark is a thing of beauty. But that isn't the case, Joss Whedon who is known the internet all as a King of Nerds really handled the epic undertaking amazingly well. The creator of critically acclaimed shows Buffy, Firefly and Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long blog was in charge of Directing and Writing the film. Under his guidance each character had essentially equal camera and development and had great back stories for their characters. How he was able to do this is really just what we've already seen him do with his Television shows that are strongly character driven with snappy witty dialogue and amazingly crafted Universes with excellent attention to detail. Joss Whedon was essentially the perfect man for the Job, his style of film making perfectly portrayed a rag tag group of super humans coming together and overcoming their differences to save the World. (No big surprise the Good Guys win right?)

To me the story is strangely pieced together at the start with Loki who is Thor's adapted Brother that was exiled from his Home planet of Asgard and is still rather resentful of Thor for being their Father's Favourite has amassed a giant space army. Armed with a sweet magical sceptre and using the Tesseract (Cosmic Cube) which is an alien source of energy of unimaginable power he is able to charm people and help him build a portal for his cosmic army to come through and take over the Earth. Why Loki would want to take over Earth is actually beyond me considering that we are essentially one of the weakest and most useless Planets in the Universe full of Demi-Gods and Intergalactic alien monsters. But regardless the Government espionage agency SHIELD calls into effect the Avengers initiative. A project where they will assemble a team of Earth's mightiest warriors in hopes of defending it against unforeseen terror. So yeah, it's written like the pilot of a new Sci-Fi show coming to a cable network sometime later this year expect there are Superheroes in it.

Under the supervision of Nick Fury who is basically just a one eyed version of Samuel L. Jackon himself who spends most of the time either yelling at someone, running around looking old or shooting something the Team is formed. The Team comprised of Norse God of Thunder Thor, Billionaire playboy philanthropist and arms developer Tony Stark aka Iron Man, Frozen Hero of World War II and Super Solider Captain America, Gamma Radiation Expert and Scientist Dr Bruce Banner aka The Hulk, SHIELD agent and expert marksman Hawkeye and the beautiful yet dangerous Russian Spy now SHEILD agent Black Widow. Also you can't mention the Avengers without key SHEILD Agent Philip Coulson who is responsible for shepherding the team together in hopes that they can fight as a team... Also because he's basically been the guy responsible for keeping an eye on Iron Man making sure things get done around SHIELD headquarters.

Of course with a team comprised of Super Humans, Gods, Machine Men and Raging Hulk Monsters its hard for anything productive to be done when their larger than life egos start clashing. Each member of the team is dealing with their own personal issues, whether it be Thor who feels enormous guilt for what his Brother Loki is doing in hopes of taking over the World to The Hulk who all he wants to do now is the help people but he can't while this other part of him is so used to destroying things. Each Avenger has their own personal demon to conquer in their own special way, it's actually amazing to see them get fleshed out, especially with Hulk where he starts about his crippling depression that he attempted suicide but "the other guy just spat out the bullet". Captain America feels out of place and lost in this strange new World where the values he was use to have fallen by the wayside. Black Widow and Hawkeye deal with being the only "Human" Avengers but also with their dark pasts and relationship with one another where as Iron Man's problem is he is incapable of putting his ego aside and listening to other people's ideas and opinions.

That being said, I honestly think this incarnation of the Hulk portrayed by Mark Ruffalo is the best one to date in film. There was something so sad about Bruce Banner in this that you couldn't help but feel for the guy even before he starts losing control and breaking things.

And if I'm giving out kudos to actors, another one for Tom Hiddleston as Loki who was amazing in Thor but he really shone through again in the Avengers. He was riveting, every time he's on screen and he commands your attention. Dude was smiling from ear to ear and you could tell he was having a great damn time.

However once all that gets resolved the Third Act of this movie is nothing but a straight up War in Manhattan. Just 30 minutes of explosions and bodies flying and everything great about comic book heroes doing awesome comic book hero things. The rotating shot of all the Avengers standing together was such a stirring movie moment I actually felt the giddy child inside me squeal with delight to see them all fighting together. The Final Battle is something out of a Michael Bay's play book, Aliens and Explosions... EVERYWHERE! Except the audience can actually follow what is happening on screen rather then being overwhelmed with a bombardment of fire and sparks and poorly framed explosions.

I would be remiss to not say something about the use of Hulk in the final fight. The lumbering giant was easily my new favourite of the team as he went around destroying giant flying machine... fish looking.... monster things with savagely graceful swings of his mighty fists. Like watching a baby destroying his brother's sand castle at the beach whilst having a sick grin smacked across their face. Seriously, the Hulk is Awesome in this movie, I was never really a Hulk fan until now. His confrontation with Loki is one of the best physical gags I've seen in long time in film and was so unexpected and shocking I literally had no other choice but to break out in laughter. Again the genius of Whedon's vision shines though as Hulk mutters a smug one liner afterwards and continues on his merry way.

All in all this is great film, Joss Whedon has done something short of a miracle here and has delivered an amazing cinematic experience. Usually these days of shallow and vapid sequels, reboots and blatant money grabs from Hollywood studios is good to see a franchise being handled by someone who loves and respects the actual source material. With such high expectations and hype going into the movie I left deeply satisfied and actually craving a second viewing of it. I still plan on catching this in the cinema again. Although there is a 3D option to view this movie I wouldn't bother, the film was transferred in post so the movie wasn't optimised for it but it is still great enough to warrant you actually going down to the local cinema and watching it with Big screen, surround sound and a handful of other people.

Also be sure to stick around after the movie for bonus scenes. There are 2 additional scenes waiting for those patient enough to sit through some credits.

But seriously.... Go see this movie, it's not often you have a good reason to go and watch a movie these days.

So I've been Stalking MemeMolly Lately

MemeMolly YouTube Channel
Molly Templeton My Damn Channel
MemeMolly @ Twitter
Molly on Tumblr

The world of Vlogging seems pointless to me. Then again so does Blogging, it's essentially the same exercise but you talk instead of write. However Youtube personality MemeMolly has had me thinking different lately. Well not just lately, for a good while now. Ever since she was 16 Molly Templeton has been making and posting videos for YouTube on her Vlogging Channel MemeMolly. She was also on the Internet Media Rocketboom as their daily news Anchor for 2 years but she is back making adorably awkward vlogs and working behind the scenes on the video site My Damn Channel.

I'm just going to cut to the chase and say, I freaking love Molly Templeton. She seems to wonderful to be real and here's the reason why I currently have an unhealthy obsession with internet "celebrity". My recent devotion and admiration of her may seem weird and strange to others but this is her damn job / hobby and if she didn't want weird people like me stalking her then she wouldn't be so damn good at vlogging.

And Now.... Why I love MemeMolly.

1) She's Very Pretty... and British
Its hard not to notice her looks. She's a very pretty looking girl, a natural girl next door sort of allure to Molly that seems to bewitch her thousands of subscribers to her personal vlog channel. But whenever she uploads a video eventually the comments will diverge into a typical trend of the internet's male dominated chauvinistic ways. Like Tits or GTFO and various other crude remarks. Obviously there are going to be the creeps, lurkers and perverts due to the veil of anonymity the internet provides, but sometimes you really wonder how anyone could put up with this and take their work seriously with such consistent harassment. Either way... Molly is Gorgeous.


That's a Vlog right there

2) She's an Internet Nerd
She was the host of an internet news site called RocketBoom. They delivered News stories, events around New York and originated the 'Know Your Meme' web series and website. Her time as the daily host saw her deliver some really well thought out pieces on trending internet topics, points of discussion and general obscure internet knowledge. Molly is switched and has her finger on the pulse of the internet.



3) She's Smart and a Deep Thinker
Her Vlogs were personally daily reflections about her life as a Young girl growing up in England and just being freaking adorable. Her video "Are you anybody's favourite person" that she posted in 2007 was nominated for a YouTube Award for best commentary video. Which makes sense because that is an extremely personal question that does require a lot of thought.



4) She likes all the same stuff as me



This is probably the clencher right here. She's a typical 22 year old nerd girl that pretty much watches and loves everything else that I love. (Because she has impeccable taste and she's perfect and I love her). Watches NBC sitcoms like Community and parks and Recreation, plays board games like Munckin and Dungeons and Dragons, Watches Adventuretime and Party Down, loves Meme and internet culture. On paper she seems perfect and too good to be real.

I probably wouldn't have a shot in hell with Molly (But it is nice to dream). Something about her makes me think I'd be instantly friend-soned if I ever knew her in person. Kinda like that song "High Above Me" she seems that way to me, Perfect yet unobtainable. Well enough of my pathetic lonely ramblings of a crazed stalker... Here is her most popular video on the internet. It currently has 18.5 Million views... on a side note, the music from LazyTown is pretty freaking awesome though.



Great, now that I've alienated a whole bunch of you who obviously don't care about YouTube vloggers at all. But hey, that's what I felt like talking about today.