I Hate Psychology Majors

I'm very wary of Psychology majors, whenever someone tells me they studied the Human Mind for 4 years at University I look at them suspiciously. I judge them like they're judging me.

You can't fucking tell me they aren't constantly judging and making observations of people 24/7. I like to study people, I have awful eyesight. Like just dogshit eyesight. But I'm happy with what little Eyesight I have and I utilize it to the very best of my abilities. But whenever someone says they study Psychology I instantly just become very weary of what I do and say around them. I like to watch my social prey, the strangest thing is I have exceptional hearing because of my shitty eyesight, so whatever facial nuances I would miss I can gather from cross chatter, I pick up certain things people say.

Then again I just love talking, I just love attention. It's so strange I just love it when people listen to me. I hate the sound of my own voice, I think my voice is shit, I have an American Accent from watching too much cartoons as a Kid. I'm still on the fence on whether it’s a blessing or a curse to have an American Accent when you're Australian. People just assume you're from another Country because I don't actually look very American. Anyway, I'm an Attention Whore and a big Narcissist. I honestly think I'm Awesome and all my ideas are great, all my jokes are funny and you know other various self absorbed attributes. (I'm also dangerously self aware of myself though) I want to be liked by everyone.

I don't need you to tell me I'm not a normal person, but when someone just comes up to me and makes some outlandish statement like "You're an Only Child" to me because of my strange behavior and just flat out jump to conclusions and sticking by them, THAT PISSES ME OFF.

Literally some girl came up to me at a Party and I was having a blast, just being my typical loud attention whorish self and then she says to me, "You're an Only Child" and I laughed and told her I have some younger siblings and quite a few stepsiblings... She didn't believe me. She thought she had me all figured out and that worried me, what do these Psych majors think me...

Then I think to myself... FUCK THEM, THEY PROBABLY HAVE IT ALL WRONG.

But now I'm listening to Audio books and radio podcasts on the Human Psyche to ensure I don't stumble upon this problem again unprepared. I wonder what would happen if I cross analyze a Psych major during conversation as he did it to me…

That honestly sounds like Dividing by Zero in a Social Situation.