But seriously, I'm starting to think the Zombie Apocalypse is a pretty awesome way for the world to end. We already have a patient zero and all it took was Bath Salts or PCP or whatever.
To my favourite engineer, Joel; Thank you for opening my eyes to going out in the most awesomely douche way possible.
The How to Guide should you find yourself in a zombie apocalypse
BEING AN ASSHOLE DURING A ZOMBIE APOCALPSE
STEP ONE: Raid a Sports Store IMMEDIATELY. Put on some light body armour, something that will protect you from knives, punches and bites.
Remember to put on a hard NFL style headgear.
STEP TWO: Head to the gardening stores and find some finger stredders, Freddy Krueger gardening gloves. (Those totally exist). If not, those mma gloves will do, you'll want to protect your hands regardless but still maintain mobility. .
STEP THREE: Take some Cocaine... or the drink equivalent... 20 Red Bulls.
STEP FOUR: GET BITTEN ON PURPOSE
Become supreme asshole zombie.
BECOME A BOSS FIGHT! A COKED UP ZOMBIE WEARING FUCKING ARMOUR! YOU'RE SCREWED, YOU'RE A ZOMBIE NOW BITCH!
Yep, Checkmate Bitch, I've now become a BOSS FIGHT IN YOUR LIFE! You'll lose that Boss fight if you're unprepared. I have 20 red bulls, some shin-pads and a batman mask right here.
If I even see one zombie I'm heading straight to the mall then I'll go get biten on purpose at night then go around eating people like some kind of midnight zombie nightmare.
I'll be the Batman of Zombies...
Your move
**Walks away backwards with hands out stretched**
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