It's a Knockout

I only got into the world of Professional Mixed Martial Arts last year, which is strange because I've been a fan of Martial Arts in general since I was a damn kid. I watched numerous documentaries and shows based around it. I loved Human Weapon and Fight Science and just seeing programs that showed the different forms and techniques used across the World. The Art of Human combat is absolutely fascinating to me.


This rap hurts more than a Roundhouse kick to the Balls

Thanks to the UFC I can now see multiple fighting styles with a big arena fight feel. It's like watching a Prize Boxing fight but with more pamper and showmanship, it all seems like a legit sport rather then some backalley operation. I never got into the idea of watching two men in a Boxing Ring but there is something really awesome about watching two men choke each other out in a Cage.

Either way I love the new Opening video the UFC have made to initiate their PPV broadcasts. touching up classic UFC moments with beautiful sound and visual effects. It just gets you pumped up for another good old fashion cage fight.



People can write it off as some glorified barbaric blood bath or just watching two men dance around each other until they get to the ground where they hug it out until someone gets the other in a choke hold. But you do get to see some truly amazing things in the Ring and you come to know and respect some of the fighters.



The infamous Showtime Kick, A thing of beauty

The Funny thing is, even though that kick happened in 2010 Benson Henderson (The recipient of that kick) is currently the UFC Lightweight Champion and Anthony Showtime is still in the lower cards fighting for a chance for that same belt. It's amazing to see the ups and downs in the MMA industry.

Happy Leap Day

I don't actually have anything important or insightful to say about today. It only comes around every 4 years and is generally uneventful in my eyes. But hey it is worth noting that it is a special day because February 29th holds some strange meaning to some people.

There are so few that are born on Leap Day and are called Leapers. They celebrate their true birthdays every 4 years and I guess it just makes those 'real' birthdays that much more special to them. However you can't be a Smartass on legal documents when you claim to only be 12 when you're body is 48.

There is an old British Isles tradition that every 4 years on Leap Day a Woman can propose Marriage to their Man, now living in a modern society this may seem a little dated but this practice has been going for some time and if the man refuse the marriage proposal... He'd have to buy the lady a dress.

Quaintly it is sometimes referred to as Bachelor Day...

So Happy Bachelor Day everyone.

The Best Dungeon Master I've ever had

I'm a Mighty Wizard.... I summon Coke and Dorritos

Teachers are some of the most under appreciated members of society. They get paid jack, deal with some just awful children and yet they have the important job of teaching and mentoring the future leaders of the World. It almost seems like some kind of poetic injustice that these people are so criminally under valued. I remember one particular teacher going above and beyond his call of duty in order to try and make learning fun. He turned our entire year 7 curriculum into a Role Playing Game.



His name was John O'Brien, coincidentally he shared the same name as our Principal too. He had written a few children's books and was a full time teacher. So he was a Teacher and a Writer and a really genuinely nice man. The game was called 'Wasteland' and the objective was that we all played as a Wondering Warrior trying to amass an army to take on the Darkness. An evil overarching power that was ruling over the Wasteland.

Mr. O'Brien had drawn a map of the Wasteland and plotted out the course we would take on our epic Quest. He would start a lesson with a brief description of where we were and what was happening. Then something would happen and we would all have to do a task relating to the subject we were supposed to be covering at the time.

If it was a Maths period we would be given a series of mathematical problems that somehow related to the game. I remember one lesson we had to perfectly dissect these weird worms with compasses because the sight of any weaponry would antagonize them and force them to attack. But a simple measuring instrument like a compass was not seen as a threat. So we had to divide them perfectly in half and then cut them perfectly in half so they would die, otherwise they would just regenerate their body and attack.

If it was an English lesson we would have to write a moving speech or poem or answer a series of riddles and word challenges. One art period we were given the task to design War ships for our naval fleet and I remember drawing up the most ridiculous over armed war machines imaginable. Looking back on it now there was no way the thing I drew up was even water worthy. I swear I packed that thing full of nukes and missiles and other far fetched weaponry a real naval ship would have... Like Chainsaw Arms. I wish I still had that giant piece of A3 paper because I remember estimating where the waterline would be on the boat and frankly the whole thing was laughable.

After completing the tasks we would enter towns and be given options on what to do with our time, where we could go and he would take out groups of kids that would go certain places and tell them what they encountered and what they found there. Some people would receive special items that would help them in the game and others would enter strange perils that would send them off into weird new paths. It was pretty cool at times, I remember find some sleep leaves that I would later use on a group of Orcs for safer passage through a valley.

Looking back on it now, I had way too much fun in Year 7 student. Mr O'Brien was clearly the most fun teacher I've ever had. I don't think I learned all that much but I did find out that RPG's are fun as all hell and that sparked my interest in table top dice games like Dungeons and Dragons. Quite frankly I don't think I'll ever have a Dungeon Master as awesome as Mr. O'Brien and sometimes I shutter to think how much time and effort he put into organizing and putting that game together.

I am so craving a Dungeon crawl now.... Guess I'll go fire up a retro Final Fantasy title.

Damn Adorable kids

Since when was the Oscar Pool for best movie this big? 10 Movies! I don't think 2011 was that great of a year in Film making. Actually no... it sucked to be quite honest. Are they just doing it so studios can put on the DVD box that it was "Nominated for Best Picture"? God the Academy Judging Panel must be easier to buy off then a.... then... a.... Ahhh whatever. It's really easy to buy off okay! I'll think of a good analogy and edit it in later.

Anyway every year when either the Oscars or Golden globe release their nominations for Best Picture savvy internet film-makers gather up a bunch of kids to reenact the nominated movies in hilarious low budget ways. They make quick and snide observations about the elected movies and it's all over within 5 minutes. Quick and easily digestible it's become a highlight of internet pop culture.

Here's this Year's reenactments brought to you from the boys at Jest.com

Music for Adventurers

Adventure Time Pilot

Ever since I saw the online pilot of Adventure Time 2 years ago I was instantly hooked. How could I not love this show immediately? It had John DiMaggio (bender from Futurama) voicing Jake the magical dog and a Hyperactive 13 year old boy as the lead characters. Over the past 3 seasons the show has evolved into this international cult hit amoung kids and adults. People all over the World have taken to the awesome adventures of Finn and Jake and have grown to love them. However I still find resistance from many people who dismiss the show as some weird drug induced parade of nonsense. (I dunno, they just say people who are on drugs watch this shit... Well they aren't wrong)

The show is amazing. The creativity, the characters, the jokes but probably my favourite aspect of the show is the music. A lot of it is Produced by show creator Pendleton Ward and by Rebecca Sugar. Rebecca recently wrote the Season 3 finale and it had some absolutely lovely songs in it. Here are the demos she recorded companied with the sketches she drew for the title card.



Here's how All Gummed up Inside and All Warmed Up Inside Turned out on the show...





Rebecca posts a lot of her music and sketches she makes for the show on her tumblr account before they go to air so if want to see some more of the demos you should check it out. (Here). Although it isn't just the simple acoustic songs there is a lot of chiptune influenced electro music in the show too. Occasionally Pendleton will use his talents to make quirky songs like this one from the episode "Evicted".



And of course when they can, they get amazing guest stars like Olivia Olsen who plays Marceline the Vampire Queen and Neil Patrick Harris who plays Prince Bubblegum to put their vocal talents behind their songs. This is NPH singing "Oh Fiona" in the gender swap episode of Adventure Time.





Then of course there are awesome as hell fan remixes of this...



Seriously this show is Awesome, Just watch it. I'm sure some of you are just too cool to watch a kid's cartoon but I'm sure you could still learn a lot from this simple show. One of the cuter and low beat songs on the show is Beemo's Friendship song after Finn and Jake get into a huge fight and it's so sweet it just makes me love this show that much more.

The 10 Characters I'd like to see in Smash Bros 4

Super Smash Bros is a global force of nature. It's like a dream Nintendo game where you can settle old disputes on whether which video game characters would beat who in a fight. Each installment of the game the roster gets more expansive and deverse. New characters from different eras of gaming coming together in this melding pot of awesome.

These are the 10 Characters I'd like to see make it into the Playable character roster in the upcoming 4th Super Smash Bros title for the WiiU.

1) Knuckles from The Sonic Series

Knuckles the Echnida seems like the likely progression since they added the Sega Superstar of Sonic the Hedgehog in Brawl. He'd probably have a similar set up to the Sonic Moveset of Brawl. Except instead of Homing Attacks he'd probably just have Rush Attacks with a Knuckles Smash. Which I would favour over Sonic's cheap poking attacks. It would just be great to see Knuckles in the Game... That and I've always liked him better than Sonic. Sonic is kind of Douche.

2) Crono from Chrono Trigger

If any of the old Square Enix RPG franchises that made it big on the old Nintendo Systems should get a rub from the Smash Bros global fame then the New Generation should know about the Hero of one of the greatest RPG's ever made. I'd say Chrono would probably have a similar moves to either Link or Roy with his Katana Strikes making up the majority of his Smash attacks and his Lighting Magic would be some of his Specials and Recovery Move. Not sure what you'd make his Final Smash be, but I'd like to hope it would involve Time Travel.

3) Jack from MadWorld

Another third party character that has appeared on a Nintendo console but I don't see how any other console brand could lay claim to Jack eitherway. The Ultra-violent convict would be a interesting addition to say the least. Probably an impossibility considering the general nature of the game being somewhat family friendly fun, I mean the guy has a Chainsaw gauntlet.... That's not very PG. But obviously his final smash would just involve him putting a street sign through someone's face, putting a tyre over them and then impaling them onto a meat hook. Jack would probably be like Snake in character build and movement, slow, sluggish moves but hard to KO and hits really damn hard.

4) Zitz from Battletoads

Well frankly I don't see how they haven't made even the remotest appearence in any of the 3 preceding titles, not even as an Assist trophy. Battletoads belong in the Smash Bros arena. They're basically the Ninja Turtles on Steroids without the lame ass weapons.Their fists turn into Hammers and Clubs. I'm pretty sure they invented the Smash Attack because all they do is smash foes out of the damn screen with their monstrous shape shifting hands and feet. You'd probably only need to put Zitz the Leader of the Battletoads in.

5) Phoenix Wright from Ace Attorney

Well I guess Phoenix would make a better Assist Trophy then a playable character with his Objection catchphrase but then again who knew Captain Falcon was such a Badass outside of his F-Zero racer? Phoenix is a young man who would probably put an asswhomping on any guy that didn't respect the justice system. Hell he could be the rival to Captain Falcon with his many catchphrase as he yells OPBJECTION! or HOLD IT! or TAKE THIS! Quite frankly I'd like to use the phrase Lawyer up when I smack the crap out of someone.

6) Simon Bellmont from The Castlevania Series

Well the Castlevania Hero would make an obviously awesome choice. It really honestly seems like a matter of time before he gets his Smash bros debut. He'll probably have the coolest stage to go along with him too. His Whip would probably do a lot of special things like cling onto ledges and grab enemies. Handicapped Mobility but would have immense versatility with his weaponry.

7) Banjo Kazooie from The Banjo Kazooie Series

Another old duo that seems to have fallen by the wayside. Let's just ignore Nuts and Bolts ever being released and remember the good old days of this practically useless Bear and his poor tortured sidekick running around beating up evil witches. I swear that poor bird did the Lion's share of the work, anyway Banjo would probably be a pretty slow character with great recovery and decent range with the egg attack and roll. The Final Smash would probably involve using a Golden Feather and Flying around egg bombing enemies.

8) Travis Touchdown from No More Heroes

Well how could I not put a Anime and Wrestling Otaku in the game? Travis seems perfect for any fighting game in general but with his speed, grappling style and swordplay, he would be a formidable and versatile character in any fighting game. Fast quick strikes, awesome Wrestling grapples and a freaking lightsabre, its a shame that he's only a Third Party Nintendo character rather then a trademarked one, so this probably won't ever materialise.

9) Demise from Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword

Dear Lord look at him! LOOK AT HIM! He looks like Akuma... BUT MORE AWESOME! Plus he has a Giant Sword and has Demonic Powers. I can see how Gannondwarf is only just a servant to this hulking behemoth. I don't know how they would make his move set balanced but it would have to involve his Thunder Sword Strike as a Final Smash. Hell for all i care they could just make him a Meta Knight Clone but Slower and more Powerful. Kinda like what they did with Captain Falcon and Gannondwarf.

10) Mega Man from The Mega Man Series

He's freaking Mega Man. A staple of the NES and SNES gaming libraries back in the early days. As pointed out before by Egoraptor, the games are legendary and so is Mega Man. Only problem... Capcom owns Mega Man and well they'll probably just use their property in their licensed fighting games. If they were to make a Mega man playable character he'd obviously have a lot of moves based around his Power Ups from the series and of course his Buster Canon, I'm picturing a more mobile but slightly weaker version of Samus.

------

Well that's my Top 10...

Just outside the list would be the Brothers from Double Dtagon, Bowser Jr, Cooking Mama and Earthworm Jim. Good God any game with Earthworm Jim would be Awesome.

Egoraptor is the Man

Now I love video games but I know very little about game design. However the talented genius that is Arin Hansen also known internet wide as Egoraptor does. In fact his insight on the mechanics behind gaming is astounding. He's also hilarious, a kind of blunt and crude style of humour mixed with his stylish flash animations make his flash videos some of the most viewed and talked about videos online. He's also a noted voice actor lending his vocal talents to multiple projects over the years.

Egoraptor has been making flash videos online for around 7 years now. He got his big break on Newgrounds with his Awesome series videos, the marquee piece being Metal Gear Awesome. over the years he's made multiple flash videos and has evolved his animation style and sketch comedy to an art form.

But recently he's been focusing his talents on game design. In the latest season of the reality Television show 'The Tester' which is a show giving the chance to a group of budding game designers at a chance to work for Sony, Thanks to his immense internet following Ego was voted onto the show by fans. Clearly he knows his stuff about game design. Check out his breakdown of Megaman and the Castlevania series.







The man is clearly a fucking genius. He knows his stuff and is obviously super passionate about video games. It actually seems like a waste of talent to have him make silly internet flash videos instead of applying his knowledge and insight to improve the somewhat stagnating art of video games. One of these days he'll land a big time job developing a major game and we won't be able to get internet gems like this....

I mean Venasaur...



Watch the rest of his stuff on his YouTube Channel:
Egoraptor YouTube

Skywalkers

Experience Freedom from Betty Wants In on Vimeo.

Still need to go Sky diving one day....

A dominating personality

When I took some acting classes last year I got completely chewed out by one of the other more experienced students. Now actors tend to see many sides of the human psyche and try to tap into all these feelings, emotions, experiences and motivations.

This one particular acting exercise I use to participate in was that two people would stand a few meters apart and just say things that they noticed about the other person and the other person would have to repeat it back. It could be anything from the clothes they're wearing to the message their current body language is giving off. Like if I had said "You're Nervous" because of they were they were standing they would have to repeat back "I'm nervous".

Now after I had gotten comfortable with the game, I became a little barsh about it and I would just start exuding some assholish confidence. I'd start preforming out weird gestures and use strange voice tones and intensely pinpointed observations. I got a little mean to the other newbies in the class. Then she (the supervising older student) had a game with me and everything just went crashing down in my little perfect world. She stared me down with a stern icy glare and just laid into me. She started saying "You don't take things seriously" "You're taking the piss" "You talk a ton of shit" and my favourite one "You're use to dominating people with your personality".

I swear she was trying to break me. I repeated all of those back with in a smuggly arrogant manner. A shit eating grin with droll insincerity coming from my voice.

Now I've never had anyone just outright say all this to my face. Usually people just wait until I leave the room then make some snarky comment about my outlandish behavior. I don't remember her name but I'll never forget that girls face. I hated her and she hated me.... Who the hell did she think she was?

I look at myself now, the more she was right to put me in my place. I am an awful person to deal with at times, frankly I'm kind of an asshole sometimes. I'm just an awful person for no reason sometimes. (Or maybe because I've been drinking and I've let that super inner asshole out).

A few months ago an old friend from High School came back and hung out with me and my friends. We were watching TV and I was dominating the conversation as usual rambling on about something and he just looks at us and says. "You guys are Assholes aren't you?"



Sometimes facing an awful truth about yourself is hard. I kinda ignored the statement but thought it was an odd and quite frankly a little hurtful thing to say. But that statement did stay with me and its only just recently has it occurred to me how much of an asshole I am. I'm stubborn, loud, arrogant, obnoxious and my most marketable skill seems to be talking bullshit.

Someday I might meet that girl that put me in my place again. I like to think I'd go up to her to admit my faults, apologise and thank her for her honesty and bluntness. But hen another part of me just wants to stare her down with an icy hateful glare and just call her fat. She's not even all that fat (She wasn't skinny either) I'd just say it in a broad attempt to try to lower her sense of self-worth because... I'm an asshole.



A Fucking Men

The Bookish Type

Ugh I hate trying to pick up girls at Bars. The awkward approach, the stilted conversation about nothing that you usually have to yell over some over enthusiastic DJ as they attempt to butcher an already awfully over produced song. Its rare to find the right girl at a bar, it's all just a parade of shallow desperate people liquoring themselves up to work up the confidence or just to lower their standards enough to convince someone to sleep with them. There are other purposes and people to find at bars but that's about the broadest conclusion of what a bar is to me.

I love nerdy girls, knowledge is very sexy. You don't see many nerdy girls at bars. Like most nerdy guys they tend to just sit awkwardly in the corner watching the less inhibited people make asses of themselves. You do however see these beautiful creatures behind the counter at Bookstores. It's like some kind occupational requirement to be a cute nerd girl to work at a store like Dymocks.

In Sydney CBD there are 4 Dymocks Bookstores within 6 Blocks of each other. I was searching for a replacement copy of Chris Jericho's 2nd Book Undisputed and apparently only one of the four had it in stock so I went around looking for it. No one warned me that every damn Dymocks in the city was just full of young attractive nerd girls. I actually denied them from helping me because I was embarrassed to admit I was only in the bookstore to buy a Professional Wrestling Biography.

I guess next time I'll try and buy something less embarrassing. What is the sexiest book to buy at a Bookstore? The Alchemist's Cookbook? The Telltale Heart? World War Z?


Emma Watson... Jogging with a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul

Oh yeah, just a heads up. I adore Emma Watson. Expect a long lengthy entry soon enough about my weird and sick obsession. Until then, enjoy the rap styling of MC Chris. (AKA Hesh from Sealab 2021) and his ode to the nerd girl. this is a fan made clip and the production is a little second rate but its still quite cute.



Although it does remind me that the nerdy look has been cooped into modern culture as a hipster. How this look has managed to become the trending fashion style is beyond me.

Lean on me

Public transportation is the main method of travel I have these days. Catching buses and trains to and from school, work and various other places of interest. Now living in the Northern suburbs of Sydney we live in a rather self contained community, you might even say gated since there is a bay and hilly terrain closing the area off from the other areas of Sydney. So the central form of public transportation are buses in my area. Bus lines run all day and all night to and from Manly (The main Ferry station of Northern Sydney) and the City.

Now the amount of time I've sat on Buses would be astronomical. Usually a bus is a quiet and solitary place with little noise. A place where 20+ people in close proximity will sit awkwardly silent trying to busy themselves until their stop. Its a common occurrence to get on a Bus leaving the city at 7pm to see the majority of the bus looking down onto their smart phones or iPods ignoring the world around them like some kind of routine prayer everyone participates in on their way home everyday. It's actually rather weird standing on a bus and looking around to see everyone face down starring at small boxes of plastic with their faces all lit up with an eerie white glow. I've also seen a fair share of strange and wonderful things happen on buses.

Fights
Racial Attacks and Slurs
Multiple Drunks
A Women Crying,
Windows Shatter,
Overhear a loud conversation about a Woman's UTI (Strange day)
People Vomiting and Defecating
People dressed in a absurd costumes
People talking to themselves
A guy in a business suit pick a fight with an Old man over a Seat
The Mentally Challenged Crazy Guy, Muzza (He's Awesome)
The Other Mentally Challenged Crazy Guy (Never found out his name)

These are just off the top of my head, Bus rides can be pretty interesting at times. But probably the most common thing you tend to see besides just regular people are people sleeping on buses. At all times of the day there at least one person asleep on the bus, whether they're a shift worker or if its 3 in the morning on the pumpkin bus home. There is at least one person dosing on the bus.

Back when I use work in Darling Harbour a few years ago my daily commute was 2 to 3 hours depending on traffic. It was a 45 to an Hour long Bus ride and a 20 minute walk from the Bus station across the Harbour. Suffice to say sometimes on the Bus trip back I would be pretty drained and would dose off. Usually I'd quickly claim a window seat and lean up against the filthy glass trying to reclaim some energy or vigor or whatever it is you gain from napping.

I do however remember one instance where I was completely wiped, I hadn't slept a full nights sleep the night before and I was done for the day and I just clocked out. I work up 50 minutes later having missed my stop, drooling from my mouth and leaning against the shoulder of a complete stranger. I know I had been cozying up to this older gentleman for the entire bus ride and I shakily apologized to him. He didn't seem to mind and continued on looking off into the distance. I guess he figured if he acknowledged the situation it would just make it more awkward.

But to that fine man on the bus, I still remember you to this day, I thank you for letting me use you as a pillow, I will never forget the comfort I found in your nice woolly brown overcoat sir. Thank you.

But asking around it isn't too uncommon for random strangers to lean on one another when they're out of their mind tired and need a nice warm shoulder to bunker down on. I guess it's always nice to see that you can rely on the kindness, tolerance or indifference of stranger when it comes to Bus naps.

Virtual Insanity

I haven't been able to keep abreast of the latest trends and news in the video game world but this trailer for Lollipop Chainsaw did manage to get my attention with its sheer absurdity. Frankly it looks like they crossed House of the Dead Overkill with No More Heroes and the plot was some bastardization of a new age Twilight rip off movie / novel. It comes from the game studio of Suda51 which of course did other ridiculous tongue and cheek games like No More Heroes and Killer 7 so of course the campy quirks were always going to factor into it.

But other than its blatant attempt to appease the general market by crossing zombie horror with gushy teen romance this actually does look like fun. Plus its from Suda51 and thankfully unlike No more Heroes its going to released on the PS3 and XBOX 360 and not on the Wii. Don't get me wrong, No more Heroes is a fine game, it just would've been a lot better if it was on the PS3 or the XBOX because the Wii hardware really does limit what people can do gameplay wise.

Moving on, look what has come out recently on the virtual console stores.



My favourite Simpsons game ever has been released on the XBLA and the PSN, the Simpsons Arcade game. Now I remember playing this religiously whenever I went down to the Arcade. I only ever had a few dollars on hand but I would always spend it on this game, I never made it past the 2 level but I still enjoyed this old school beat 'em up. Funnily enough the last thing I bought off the PSN was the Scott Pilgrim Game which is also another old school style beat 'em up game.

And to round off this little post, probably the best news I've read all week.



Double Fine Adventure Game Kickstarter

This is just great, a small independent gaming studio making a completely fan funded game. Not just any studio too, a studio with talented developers like Tim Schafer and Ron Gilbert behind the wheel. Both responsible for great games like Monkey Island and Grim fandango. I love Grim Fandango, it's a great game. Hell I just love the whole adventure game genre. The last good one I bought was the recent Sam and Max title. (Mainly for the silly TF2 gear) but it was a fun game regardless. (I only had to use a walkthrough twice)

The whole project was originally slated just to cost around $400,000 which seems like a pretty steep budget but due to the over whelming response of the global gaming community the kickstarter account has over 1.7 Million Dollars in pledges. $400,000 probably would've got the game a small release on Steam with some decent voice talent and soundtrack but with the enormous fan contribution that will probably reach over 2.5 Million dollars once the kickstarter account closes in a month the game will probably now be able to see a much wider platform release, a better voice cast (if they choose to) and more production value on the soundtrack and game in general.

This kind of support is amazing and I'm expecting great things from the team at Double Fine. A multi-million dollar indie point and click adventure game that was helped made by the fans who funded it. It's pretty amazing and I really hope this game does well.

Would be nice to see a old school adventure game be nominated for Game of the Year for change.

Smoking Section: Scare Tactics

Now everyone these days knows that Smoking kills. Because of that smoking companies for years have been swaying the opinions of people to shine a less negative light on smoking and promote it as a stress reliever or social activity or just something awesome people do after doing something awesome... like, I dunno having sex.

But there is no denying how smoking has extremely detremental affects on the human body. There have been many campaigns worldwide trying to combat the dangers of smoking but I don't think any other country takes it quite as far and as seriously as Australia. (Yay, we're good at another thing. Australian anti smoking campaigns are legendary for its blunt and graphic exhibitions of smoking related diseases.


This ad is fucking horrifying

If running commercials like that wasn't enough the Australian government has been putting these extremely graphic images on the cigarette packets since 2005 trying to warn people about the dangers of smoking... or if you ask me, Scaring people into quitting.

The "Rare" Unborn Fetus Packet - Gotta catch 'em all

Apparently kids have made collecting cigarette packets for their graphic pictures a thing. I hear the Baby one is the "rarest" of the bunch. Which is such a cute kid thing to do, then again I do realise that there are a bunch of kids out there that are smoking themselves. One person I know actually started smoking at the age of 11. I didn't really take that information very well, I'm pretty sure I acted like an elitist jerk upon finding out.

I do however love it when tourists and foreign visitors come to Australia and openly comment about how horrifying these packets our whenever I'm outside a pub with one having a social smoke. Of course to which most Australians just respond with a bored and unaffected tone as we're use to seeing these graphic images daily and it's just become normal to be constantly reminded of these potentially grotesque side effects.

Smokers know Smoking is bad for them, but the examples they show are so extreme that they're well aware that the ones documented and exploited are sensationalised to shock people. Not every smoker ends up looking like a rotting zombie corpse. Ny Grandmother was 91 and she was a chain smoker and she looked absolutely radiant in her casket.... yes the crazy old bat had an open casket funeral. Ugh, just thinking of her cold still body still haunts me to this day.

Hey... I was 7 when I saw her body, That kind messed me up. More than any anti smoking campaign could ever do.

Tough Love

Now the above video would just seem like an act of Child Abuse. A Father forcing his 4 year old son to run in the icy streets of New York in his underpants as he films it. But that's if you watch it without the context.

The Father of the boy has been identified as an 'Eagle Dad', derived from the method of parenting invoked by Eagles when they throw their young out of the nest to force them to learn how to fly. Now the boy, Dou Dou was born pre-maturely with a lot of health complications and the Doctors said at the time that they weren't sure the kid would even live past the age of 5.

So to counter act this the father hell bent on raising his son 'the Chinese way' devised a rigorous training regime of swimming, mountain climbing, bicycle riding and martial arts. Not to mention that the kid also has a genius level IQ of 218. Due to this insane training schedule the kid is in perfect health and hasn't had to go back to the hospital since. This kind of tough love parenting approach seems harsh but the father later on went to say the boy agreed to run in his underwear after doing a 30 minute run fully clothed before hand.

Extreme climate training is something you hear athletes doing to prepare for major upcoming events, I've seen Rocky IV enough times that the only way to beat a Russian Cyborg Boxer is to train for weeks in the freezing Russian Mountain wilderness.

However since this video was posted many have stated that this is a serve case of Child Abuse and I would say it isn't. It's a little unorthodox but the training regiment this father has his son on is keeping him alive and healthy. This Eastern parenting ideals of being ferociously strict and harsh may not be considered humane to some but it gets results.

Sure he might grow up with a few issues but who doesn't have those these days?

Dou Dou with his genius level IQ and Spartan level training may very well grow up to be Batman... Actually I wonder what would happen if his parents were to be brutally murdered in a alleyway in front of him when he's 10.

I should probably watch more SBS

From the creators of Italian Spiderman...

DANGER 5
Danger 5 SBS Page
Dinosaur Worldwide Website
Premiering Febuary 27th, 9:30pm on SBS



Normally I'm very critical of Australian television or movie productions. But DEAR GOD have the fine crew of South Australian production company Dinosaur worldwide have produced what can possibly described as the most awesome Australian Television series since... uhhh.... Life Support? Does anyone else remember Life Support?






Its a joke on shows like Better Homes & Gardens, Healthy Wealthy & Wise and various other lifestyle shows that were the rage in the 90s

Anyway, keep your damn calender clear for The 27th...

Also I recommend the work that got them this television deal in the first place. Italian Spiderman. Made 3 year ago they made a trailer for a film school project they were then given a grant by the South Australian Film Society to make more content. Here is the First episode of the ten part series.



But that is so 3 years ago, hell they were even featured on A Current Affair for their work. I for one whole heatedly support Dinosaur Worldwide and will go out of my way to spread the word of Danger 5. Also for the 5 people that read this blog occasionally, you should do the same too. In the meantime they have posted the first episode of Danger 5: The Diamond Girls.

Modern Art Revival

Digital Artist Petros Vrellis has made an interactive piece of Van Gogh's Starry night using openframeworks. I expect this to be a screensaver on a Windows OS in 20 years. It's like watching a digital version of the northern lights.

Starry Night (interactive animation) from Petros Vrellis on Vimeo.

Old Spice: The Other Black Guy

Terry Crews is back for now, You know the Loud muscular shouting Old Spice guy before the smooth and swarve Isaiah Mustafa took over. There is something really unsettling about seeing a super built man in his underwear yelling at you about deodorant.

Either way the Old Spice commercials are known world over for their innovation and boldness and these new comercials are just as ridiculous and mind melting as the others... with Terry Crews.

Terry Crew has the charm of a coked up warehouse sales man where Isaiah could probably charm the stripes off a Tiger. But then again they did push Isaiah through a lot of hoops at the end of last year with his online fight against Fabio. Which if you ask most people... Sucked.

Anyway here are the current Old Spice commercials, the Bounce one is pretty clever in a ridiculous sort of way.

Why it would suck to be Robert Pattinson

Because he's Edward Cullen...

The main love interest in the Twilight novels is just ridiculous. Women all over the World have been brainwashed or programmed (I haven't decided on which it is) to love this fictional character... and Why? Because he is literally the man of their dreams! In fact Stephanie Meyer herself stated that the whole Twilight idea came to her in a dream where she was having a picnic with this brooding, wonderfully handsome vampire suitor named Edward. I want you to think about that, she had a dream where she had a picnic with a sexy guy and then wrote a novel around that... They aren't particularly well written books but she's filthy rich now. She probably has more money then some European countries.

So let's take a look at Edward as portrayed in the Books and Movies...



First off he's really fucking handsome, like Bella is practically aching for his touch the moment she sees him. Like a hormone bomb ready to burst every time she initially sees him. He sparkles like a Unicorn, Smells like Summer breeze and has the body of a Supermodel. How is any normal guy supposed to compete with those kinds of looks?

On top of that he has Superpowers, He's Immortal and He's so sensitive and caring that he practically spends all his free time brooding because he loves Bella so much and all he wants to do is Protect her. He's so exceedingly polite and attentive that its suspiciously creepy like he;s hiding some terrible secret.

Edward Cullen the super strong yet caring and sensitive soul that would do anything for the love of his life and just wants to keep her safe and all to himself. What girl wouldn't go a guy like that? Practically the man of their dreams... you're own personal vampire stalker.

Sure I may be overtly cynical because I'm not the targeted audience but if any girl tells you she's read the books and hates Twilight... She's a liar. It actually does worry me that popular literature has evolved in how the most desirable male suitor has changed from Mr. Darcy from the Pride and Prejudice to Edward Cullen... Egh.

But unfortunately enough for Robert Pattinson, He plays this very guy in the movies... Honestly, his life must suck

He will NEVER get away from this role. This will haunt him for the rest of his miserable life. Sure he was born with ridiculous beauty, but Beauty is something people are either born with or they buy it. He will be type-casted for the next 10 or so years, he will play the brooding, misunderstood sensitive soul in whatever next movie role he will be offered. He will never make as much money in any other role ever, this is literally the pinnacle of his acting career. He's spent his youth and talent playing the perfect vampire boyfriend. When he's dead he'll be remembered for this one role. Women everywhere have seen him play Edward and will literally expect simular superhuman levels of devotion and love... admittedly he plays the role rather well considering the source material. He's great at just starring meaningfully at Bella with convincing angst. (I'm sure that's a talent).

But I kinda feel sorry for him, even though he's rich, famous and ridiculously handsome. Forever doomed to live in the shadow of his Edward Cullen role. With the final installing of the Twilight movies Eclipse part 2 set for release later this year it seems his nightmare will be over soon and no one is more relieved then the man himself. Some of these quotes are hilariously cynical.

"When I read it I was convinced Stephenie was convinced she was Bella and it was like it was a book that wasn't supposed to be published. It was like reading her sexual fantasy, especially when she said it was based on a dream and it was like, 'Oh I've had this dream about this really sexy guy,' and she just writes this book about it. Like some things about Edward are so specific, I was just convinced, like, 'This woman is mad. She's completely mad and she's in love with her own fictional creation.' And sometimes you would feel uncomfortable reading this thing."
- E! Interview with Robert Pattinson, 2008

"“When you read the book it’s like, ‘Edward Cullen was so beautiful I creamed myself.’ I mean, every line is liked that. He’s the most ridiculous person who’s so amazing at everything. I think a lot of actors tried to play that aspect. I just couldn’t do that. And the more I read the script, the more I hated this guy, so that’s how I played him, as a manic-depressive who hates himself. Plus, he’s a 108 year-old virgin so he’s obviously got some issues there.”
- Robert Pattinson, Empire Magazine 2008

"“Whatever. There’s nothing you can do about it. That’s the way it is. But it is weird being part of that, kind of representing something you don’t particularly like … If I do decide one day to stop acting, I just hate the idea of people going: ‘Oh, did you ever do anything else besides that ‘Twilight’ thing?’"
- Robert Pattinson, The Observer 2011

This interview alone is enough of an indicator that is he over the whole Twilight experience.


I honestly wait for the day that news comes out that he was found in a car park snorting cocaine off a Hooker's ass and him just taking his mug shot with the biggest shit eating grin. I would vouch to say that he may very well be the new Hugh Grant. Except trade out the stammer with look wistful looks of angst and desire.

Seriously, think of any other Hugh Grant movie where he doesn't played a foppish and handsome English Gentleman that stammers all his lines when confronted with his female love interest.... Name just one! You Can't. I assume the same could eventually be said about Robert Pattinson.

Poor Guy

Donald is asking you to... Save Community

If you have a Twitter you can use the hash tag #savecommunity

If you have some money, you can go out and buy the DVDs

If you have them illegally burned onto your hard drive, Show a Friend its Awesomeness.

People need to know about Commmunity.



Seriously... Why would you take this away from me?

May God Have Mercy

This trailer for the upcoming movie God Bless America has me greatly interested.

I was only looking forward to Batman and the Avengers this year but this looks intense. Looks like a combination of Postal, Falling Down, Boondock Saints and SUPER. I was honestly expecting it to say directed by Uwe Boll at some stage. But no... It's directed by the Police Academy Guy, Bobcat Goldthwait. But then I look at his record and he directed the brilliant movie 'World's Greatest Dad'.

If you haven't seen World's Greatest Dad, That is another great Dark Comedy. So I have high hopes for this film.



See... Robin Williams still has it.

I like to Pogo, Man

Music Spotlight: Pogo (Nick Bertke)

I'm working on some stupid rambling points. Talking nonsense seems fun, I'll do that while I get a new PC. My 10 year old dinosaur bricked out on me last week because I was... well honestly, it was Porn. I'll just leave it there, where it belongs. Actually this is just awkward now, you know far too much and its going to be awkward when I see you next. There is an imbalance in our friendship...

In the meantime...

enjoy the slow and sweet tempo beats of Electronic chill mixer Pogo. Pogo is a masterful mix specialist where his trademark style of music is comprised of mixing and sampling audio clips from various disney movies into a beautiful blend of beats, tones and samples. This kind of electronic sampling and beat making is like listening to a Cosmic Wonderland Lullaby.

Special Thanks to an lost old friend Hannah who I just never see anymore. In fact this was one of the first times I thought of her while listening to "Alice". Hannah introduced me to Pogo, it's strange we had practically the same taste in music. Yet I never even tried to go out with her because she was a good friend's ex-girlfriend. Yes the Bro Code of Honour Stands strong with this man.

Ugh... Honour amoung Thieves, how laughable.

But seriously... This music is magical













Meet the Brilliant Man behind the Music, He's from Perth strangely enough, We seem to make our fair share of talented electronic musicians these days in Australia. Also be sure to visit his site and support his music. You can nominate how much you can pay for tracks there or you can go to iTunes and buy full albums there.

Website: http://www.pogomix.net/



Could you imagine that all this wonderful music would've been taken down if they had passed SOPA... Doesn't that scare you even a little?

My Virtual Life

The Gamer Anthem

I love Video Games. I would definitely say my oldest hobby is playing video games. Now video games have been a major part of my life since I was a kid, in fact I was practically rised by them and taught many important life lessons by my virtual heroes. So sit back and let me tell you about my virtual life...

Starting off in the early nineties I was growing up in a golden age of gaming. I was staying at my Aunts for a while and I remember receiving my first video game console. Back then the Nintendo / Sega War was in full swing, you either had a Sega or a Nintendo at your house and I started off with a Sega. A Sega Master System Mk II.

Look at that sexy beast, looks like a prop in a 80's sci-fi movie.

I only played 2 games on it, Some Helicopter Shooter game. You know when Shooter meant you were a helicopter in the middle of the screen and then targets / obstacles will come at you in patterns or straight lines and you had to manoeuvre around them. And the other game was Sonic... I don't know which Sonic it was because I was more interested in mini explosions. But I honestly didn't play that system much at all. I actually still went outside and played with other kids.

That and I was more a Nintendo fanboy. I don't remember whose house I went to but I was given a NES controller and the screen read 'Super Mario Bros' and I was instantly hooked. I was too young to even remember clear faces, just the simple red palette of this Italian Plumber whose face has basically been tattooed onto my soul since that aforementioned day. I think I was 5 at the time but from that day on I was a Nintendo boy for life.

But my Nintendo upbringing came originally from my Game Boy. Now I had at least 3 separate game boys and between them I remember only owning like 4 different games, but hey my mother did the best she could and looking back on it now, I was lucky to get what I was given. Actually I remember why I never complained... One of them games I had was Poke'mon Red and another one was Poke'mon Yellow. Those games fed my Poke'mon addiction. Seriously Poke'mon was like HUGE back then. Back then the first Poke'mon Movie was given an International Wide Theatrical Release. Why? Because every damn kid loved Poke'mon. Kids would drag their parents to the cinema to see this movie. That does remind me, because I never owned Poke'mon Blue... I've never caught a Magmur or a Meowth in my lifetime. Damn, that'll haunt me forever. (Don't get me started on first Generation Poke'mon, I could talk your face off about Poke'mon)

I've never caught one of those fire duck looking goblins... I can already feel your judgement

But I remember owning other Gameboy games besides Poke'mon. I had some weird Helicopter Rescue game and Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure. Now the Helicopter game was a simple side scrolling shooter game but Bill and Ted's was this intricate puzzle plat-former. It also loosely followed the plot to one of my favourite childhood movies. I never got around to finishing the game because sadly I lost the gameboy in a spontaneous rugby game at a fiji day festival. Why I had a gameboy in my pocket whilst playing rugby is beyond me.

I never had much of a PC growing up. in fact I still have my family's first PC in the stoage shed down the back of the house and there are no games on it besides the 4 windows games that come with it. On a side note my record at Solitaire is 43 seconds, Top that!

But I did however go over to family and friend's houses to play their computer games and I have fond memories of Shooters like Wolfenstein 3D, Doom and Duke Nukem 3D. But one christmas my father bought me a game CD pack with 4 critically acclaimed games on it. I don't remember 2 of them but the 2 I do remember were Pitfall and Earthworm Jim. Both magnificent Action plat-former games. I loved exploring the World's and finding secrets in both. I also prided myself on never using cheats so it took me forever to beat those games.

On a side note, I HATED THE ASTEROID ZONES IN EARTHWORM JIM!!! UGH!!! But this fucking ending rules.



Just for a little context, there is a Cow launcher at the start of the game... You have no idea what it did until the very end. This was a running theme on the Television show too.

But the strongest video game memories I have of my childhood come from my Super Nintendo, I only ever had 4 games on the SNES system but they were 4 of the damn bests games anyone could ever own.

Donkey Kong Country, NBA Jam, Super Mario Allstars and Super Street Fighter II

You tend to see One or all of those games in Best of all time lists and for very good reason. They were all amazing games.

I remember collecting the KONG letters in DK Country and travelling from World to World in Funky Kong's Funky Flights. I remember rampaging through levels on the back of Rambi the Rhino and I plowed through endless waves of enemies. I remember the weird sexualisation of Candy Kong at her save points. But what I seem to remember most is the advice from Cranky Kong and the magic of the mid air roll and jump trick. Basically you ran up to the edge of a platform then rolled off and whilst rolling in mid air you could preform a jump that would help you jump across large gaps to get to secrets or to traverse further into a level. How such a thing was possible was beyond even the wise old Kong himself but it was still amazing advice. But you can't bring up Donkey Kong Country without having to mention the sensational soundtracks. The Pirate Ship theme in the game is the stuff dreams are made of.

But I eventually got around to renting Donkey Kong Country 2 and 3 from the video store and some of the songs shone through like a Firecracker in a Cemetery. (That was a weird analogy)


Stickerbush Symphony... Hauntingly beautiful.

Then there was NBA Jam, arguably the greatest basketball game ever released on console. I haven't played the other ones yet but I do hear there are some good ones that rival the awesomeness of NBA Jam. To put things into perspective, there are still tournaments held to this day over SNES NBA Jam. In fact just last year the internet site / community of CollegeHumor had an NBA Jam off in their Weekly Video Game corner.

See more at CollegeHumor

You know, I never knew about the Bill Clinton code when I originally had the game... Such a pity.

Then of course how can you not talk about Super Mario All-Stars? The King of SNES Games, Super Mario Bros 1, 2, 3 and Lost levels all on the one cartridge. That's like Orange Box levels of Value at the time. Super Mario Bros 3 is still one of my favourite games of all time and the Ending Theme from the game still floats through my mind from time to time. I don't think I've ever felt more satisfaction beating a game since Super Mario bros 3... The Final Bowser Ship Level was like navigating through an endless bombardment of cannon balls and bullet bills. It was insane. Then again i did bypass a lot of the game considering I knew how to get all the Warp Whistles.


Something about this ending theme just completes me

Just a quick history Super Mario Bros 2, After the massive success of Super Mario Bros the sequel was released as year later in Japan. Super Mario bros 2 was basically Super Mario Bros 1 with slight changes here and there to the level design and of course was a little harder. Now in North America they got a completely different game from the Japanese because the North American producers of the game didn't think it was a good idea to release a sequel of a popular game that was by all accounts virtually the same. (My how they changed their tone over time... take a look at the Call of Duty series). So in what I would chalk up to a nobly thought out mis-step the USA was given a completely different Super Mario bros 2 which was a palette swap of a game called Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic. Eventually America got the original Super Mario bros 2 released under the guise of Super Mario bros Lost levels. Whilst a completely different game to the original it still worked well and had unique enough game mechanics that it was able to stand on its own merit... Even though it had by far the worst ending of any Mario Game.

Spoiler: it was all a Dream... Seriously, No Joke

After I had finished all the Mario games in All-Stars I made a trade with a neighbor, Super Mario All-Stars for Super Street Fighter 2: World Fighter Edition. Super Street Fighter 2 to this day is still considered one of the Greatest Fighting games of all time for one reason and one reason only. Balance, each fighter had their own pros and cons but the game went through so many refinements that when World Warrior came out it was practically Perfect. I gravitated towards Ryu and his no frills Fighting style, basic turtling tactics with Ryu, no point being overly aggressive, all his special did considerable damage and were more for counter attacking or seizing openings in battle. My go to Combo was Air Heavy Kick, Crouching Heavy Punch into a Dragon Punch, did wicked damage and then I would either chip away at their health with Hadu-ken spam or throw out a few Hurricane kicks whilst they recovered. Street Fighter was definetly one of my biggest influences in my life as a kid and what initially drew me towards learning Martial Arts.


Some of these Character Profiles are interesting... But Zangief weighing only 115kgs... Come on, Dude is Huge

Well that and Bruce lee Movies... But I wasn't very good at using Fei Long (Bruce Lee Street Fighter Character). I was a God at Super Street Fighter 2, I was unnbeatable as Ryu... Until I played Johnny Chung, an asian kid from my class that spent his free time schooling people at arcade machines. Now I was an arrogant gamer at the time, I would boast about my prowess with Ryu and how I would decimate people with Hadukens and Dragon Punches, then Johnny comes in picks Chun Li and completely negates all my haduken spam with an aggressive aerial assault and kick combinations. That was the day I learnt the life lesson, "Now matter how good you are at something, there is always an asian that'll do it better"

It doesn't just apply to video games... THAT'S NOT RACIST, THEY'RE JUST BETTER AT THINHGS!


The Post Fight Sayings were Hilarious at times

Anyway my favourite internet meme to come from Street Fighter would definetly be Guile Theme goes with everything. The American Air Force Pilot Guile had a pretty standard stage, You'd fight him on a Air strip in the US somewhere in front of a Fighter Jet and a few of his crew mates. There were 2 breakable crate props on either side of the level but the theme is what stood out the most. Something about Guile Theme just screams "awesome fight music".


You know this video is Awesome... just admit it

Well that's enough for this entry, I'll probably get around to doing a part 2 to this, get around to the next generation of gaming consoles in the Playstation and Nintendo 64. But until then, you can watch the entire 1989 movie The Wizard. This basically summerises growing up a introverted nerd and was basically a 2 hour ad for Nintendo.

Enjoy...


I love the Power Glove... it's so bad