The Progression of a Modern Day Han Solo

So back when I use to flaunt my photoshop "talent" on Facebook I use to take silly requests for friends. Like a simple photo of my two friends at a birthday drunk off these faces.

So my Buddies Antony (You've met him before in this previous entry here) and Jarrad are drunk and Antony requested I change 3 things about the photo, add googly eyes to his helmet, a rose and a can of solo.

Now it isn't a great shop effort because I was lazy and was doing a ton of requests at the time but I started playing around with it and this is what happened after I kept screwing around with it.

First I made a silly Solo like poster... Because Antony loves Solo.

Then I turned Jarrad into Emma Stone...

Then I ruined it with a silly internet meme inspired message...

Some days I often wonder if I am making good use of my free time. Then I remember I use to do this on Facebook so my Free time has always been poorly squandered on meaningless projects.

Paris Hilton.... a Hero?

Now its no secret that I love Community, so when I saw that Dan Harmon the creator of Community had been on the Indoor Kids podcast (a podcast about Video Games which is something I also greatly enjoy) I was all over that like a rash. Now on his second visit to the podcast Dan Harmon brought up an excellent point about Paris Hilton.

Ali Baker (The Co-Host of the Podcast) said in an off cuff remark that if she was Paris Hilton she'd be spending all her free time learning how to play the Piano. But after quick deliberation in his head Harmon concluded that if he was Paris Hilton he'd be doing the exact same thing Paris Hilton was doing right now.

Think about it, if you were born an Heiress to a Multi-Million Dollar fortune what else would you do with your time besides go out and have a ton of casual anonymous sex and party like a demon? Exactly, she's doing what we'd all be doing. Living it up.

She got famous for blowing a dude in night vision. She somehow turned that into a reality television series, a handful of movie roles, a singing career, a perfume line and now she's known world wide. She's a household name which is remarkable considering what limited talents and skills she actually possesses. She's whoring herself out to the entertainment industry which isn't anything new by any stretch of the imagination.

Besides being one of these socialites that are just born into money and coasting on that, she's actually trying to make a name for herself. Emphasis on the word trying and you know what, God bless her too. Her attempts at acting are laughable, her music is horrible and her overall personality that she flaunts just make her an unlike-able spoilt brat. But is it even that much of a surprise that someone that had that kind of up bringing would be anything but a spoilt rich brat?

Paris Hilton is a Hero, She could've honestly just sat back and inherited her father's multi-million dollar fortune, living off an allowance and never having to work ever. She's already attained a reputation as a media personality and made a name for herself and now she lives off her own money that she made on her own. She models clothes and handbags and has released her own perfume, She's making fantastic business moves with her name and appeal. It's honestly amazing how she's able to make being a spoilt whore a profitable business venture.

Paris Hilton is showing other Heiress around the world up, She actually has drive and ambition to move away from her father's fortune and make her own. I find greatly admirable.

If I was born Paris Hilton and had the same kind of up bringing she had, I probably would've lived a life of seclusion locked up in my Beverly Hills Mansion coked out of my mind and having casual sex with underwear models too. I probably wouldn't have tried to make a name for myself though. So yeah... Good on her.

You Go Paris Hilton! You may not be the most talented Heiress in the World but you are the most driven and I can respect you for that if nothing else.

Just quietly I kinda like this song...



Yeah...

Haters gonna Hate

Really?

With Hollywood running out of ideas for movies these days they've been remaking and rebooting movie franchises left and right. In fact something like 27 major movie releases this year were sequels.

If that wasn't bad enough they've started what I hope isn't a trend of "re-imaging" old fairy tale stories. Two films of re-imagined fairy tales released this year were Red Riding Hood and Beastly, which of course were retelling of the Stories of Little Red Riding Hood and Beauty and the Beast.

Here are the Trailers for these abominations.





Now those movies... Sucked. I mean you could tell by the trailers that they weren't exactly cinematic masterpieces. Hell, Mary Kate Olsen looks like Kesha in that Beastly Trailer.

And this upcoming movie looks epic... But I don't really hold out much hope from pipping the trend of bad fairy tale remakes.



Alright, I don’t expect much from this but God damn this looks like a really good attempt at retelling Jack and the Beanstalk. I didn’t personally think I’d ever see a Jack and the Beanstalk movie with a decent Hollywood budget behind it in my life time.

Side note: That kid from About a Boy grew up and kind looks like Tom Cruise...

God of War Update 3

I can totally become that Awesome by the next nerd convention...

DAY 28:
I have reached a small hurdle in my plan of becoming the God of War.

I'm not putting on actually any muscle mass. I knew dieting was going to factor in from turning my naturally skinny with high metabolism body which if I remember correctly is called having a (I googled the following word)? body type. Yep, that's what my High School education got me, I remember that there are 3 different types of Body Types.... Impressed?

I still weight 74 kilograms after this past month of push-ups and cardio. Hmmmmmmm this seems like another first world problem to me. I'm doing this for entire selfish and nerdy reasons.

I just did 200 Push-ups on my Perfect Push-up and I feel good. I'll probably be on the thing on and off during the day. My muscles can rest when I sleep. I'm drinking enough water and vitamins to keep my body in tip top shape. I'm also cutting down on my sugar intake.

I wonder if this whole experiment will improve my quality of life...

I really should take pictures... But my camera phone is a piece of crap and I'm not buying a fucking digital camera just to cam whore. (21 Year Old Me would disagree... I should really get a digital camera and make more digital art)

Feel sorry for him... HE WAS BULLIED!!!!

Don't worry... He's all better now that he has the sympathy of millions of people on youtube. I'm sure there are many many other people out there like this dude so I guess he's the voice of the voiceless...

Isn't Bullying just a part of life...?

Putting meaning into Pac Man

Pac Man may just seem like a simple game...

But I like to put meaning into things that didn't really have one in the first place.(Look at my Story of Poke'mon's "Villain"Gary Oak)

So at the moment I like to over analyse things and making up stories and theories that fit my own prejudices and views of the world and society in general.

So this is what I think of Pac Man…

Yeah this is happening…

Listen to me Bullshit about Pac Man!!!

Pac Man is your every day guy just like you and me.

And each single pellet represents a measurement of time; Let's say they're days. Now each day Pac Man is avoiding Ghosts all his "Life". So he's living his Life day by day avoiding those Ghosts. Now these Ghosts each represent a fear of Pac Man's life, whether it be insecurity, financial, health, rejection, etc. Just the 4 main fear's in his "Life".

So he's basically trying to get enough pellets of days to level up.

So enough days dedicating to leveling up, so each level could represent a great life breakthrough like surviving an accident, winning an award, graduating, holding your son, etc. But he's going to need a way to conquer his fears if he wants to level up.

Now the POWER Pellets is when Pac Man is INVINICABLE and can devour his Demons. These Power Pellets represent a moment of Clarity and/or Strength in Pac Man's life. He is then able to momentarily conquer and defeat his Fears. One Power Pellet could represent strength like... Alcohol, Drugs, Sex, Battle, A Job, A Steady Girlfriend, Whatever, etc.

And each time he conquers a fear it only comes back later....

But to Pac Man occasionally Life gives you a lemon... or an orange... or a cherry... So it isn't all pain and struggle up to those few ultra awesome power pellet moments in your "Life".

Just make sure when you're in power pellet mode in the game of life Pac Man, you conquer more than just one ghost, be nice to get some breathing space away from those ghosts for a while.

There is a High Score at the end of "Life"

I'm still not sure if any of that made sense but... Here's more Scott Pilgrim bullshit

That is a pretty sweet trick...

Wallace shows Scott the quick dry technique... Which I have yet to encounter in real life.

But something out there tells me that there are "special" people out there.

Honest to god close enough to a super power for me anyway.

Also I was listening to more Kasabian while doing this one...

A bit out there....

This is wonderfully brilliant in a disturbingly abstract and somehow familur sort of way...

This was supposedly nominated for an Academy Award in the field of Best Animated Short. I haven't seen the other nominations yet but this one seems pretty hard to beat. Supposedly Adventure Time's "Thank You" episode was in consideration for the Academy nomination to but failed to make it to the Final 10 nominations.

Also.... Watch Community God Damn It!

That's a deleted scene from season 2's episode "Intermediate Documentary Filmmaking"

Isn't that ridiculous that they would cut a scene that good just to fit time restraints?

Did you know Joel McHale could act?

Well... I guess with this as quick evidence.

I always thought of him as a quirky TV host rather then an "actor"

I should feel guilty.... But I don't...

....Yep

Thank You Adventure Time

Have you ever watched something so moving it moved your soul?

Now normally I don't prattle on about Adventure Time. But this particular show is filling the animation void until Futurama, Archer or The Venture Bros. gets back on the air.

Now for the uninformed Adventure Time is show about Finn who is a hyper active eleven year old boy that is trainned in the art of sword fighting, punching kicking and whatever the next manlist kid fighting style you can think of that doesn't involve crying... and his magical dog Jake. Who is voiced by Futurama's Bender (John Di Maggio).

It's basically a kid's superhero show. Its on Cartoon Network so kids are definetly watching this.

Hell I justify that it's all in Finn's head. Some kids have wicked imaginations...

And sometimes the writers just take a boat load of drugs and write some of the most soul crushing episodes in existence.

Anyway... The latest episode I saw, Thank You was one of the most touching things I've seen a show do in a while. It god damn moved me.

Hopefully its still up when you see it!



And then... watching the Soul crushing episode.

Dear Lord did this episode have me all scared in a weird fucking way. The New Frontier is something I just can't watch a second time because there is no way I could enjoy it with out the twist.

But the idea of seeing a cosmic owl in your croak dream just scares the living beejesus out of me. Well the idea of a croak dream is fucking disturbing. A particular dream where you visualise your death.

Ohhhh wait.... I did have one of those......

I think I was 38 in mine... Pheeeeeeeeeeewwww.....

Fire....

Gin Nightmare Redux

Previous Gin Nightmare Entry

Hey remember when I was sort of bitching about drinking a whole bunch of gin but kinda gloating at the same time? Yeah!?

Cool...

Because I did it sort of way. Yeah... Apparently I was a complete asshole and I remember NONE OF IT!

Like stupid idiot dumb guy sort of stupid... Yeah it's that bad to just forget then only remember the non-stupid parts of the night. I honestly thought I was well behaved the entire evening. I hate how Alcohol can do that to me now, it never did that to me before... Or maybe my friends just tolerate my bullshit because he's always that much of an asshole.

I'm starting to heavily reconsider ever drinking alcohol again.

Some of the Highlights I was told was...

I was doing push-ups on the kitchen counter with my feet in the food then starting to fight people. WHO THE FUCK IS THAT GUY? THAT CAN'T BE ME!

Or is it?

I've apologised numerous times but I still feel immensely awful about reaching Super Asshole Mode...

Touching up a Subspace Date

One of the most memorible moments in the Scott Pilgrim comics is the first time Ramona takes Scott through the Subspace Highway.

Here's the original with... some hideous ugly disfiguration that I made using simple colouring and a stock space background...

This probably took a longer time because I have yet to find an efficently fast way of colouring besides select and fill methods with light touches up on the edges if you're trying to make light tones on skin like on the previous Scott Pilgrim blog entry about Lisa Miller: here

My Name is Gary Oak

THE STORY OF GARY OAK

========

I use to have Dreams... Dreams of being a Poke'mon Champion

Maybe then he'll be Proud of me...

I had it all...

Then he took it all away from me...

I Hate You... Red...

=========

Anyway like most Stories this one starts off at the Beginning.

I got out of bed particularly early that morning; I wanted to get going on my Journey to be a Poke'mon Master. I had marched downstairs to find that my lovely sister had cooked me a tasty breakfast... I still miss May. She gave me a tight hug, fed me my "Breakfast of Champions" and tried to give me a Town Map before I left, how thoughtful of her, but even she should know by now how long I've wanted to be a Poke'mon Champion. I had studied for my life journey into the World of Poke'mon... How naive and headstrong I was at the time.

I was waiting in his stupid lab, waiting to finally receive a Poke'mon. My Grandfather promised that when I and Red were 13 we get Poke'mon of our very own. I looked around; none of Gramp’s interns seemed to care, meandering around with clipboards looking at data readings. What mindless drones, you don't study Poke'mon on a computer screen; you go out onto the field and study them. To only think I sometimes snuck into the Viridian Forrest on some nights just to watch the Beedrill fight.

Then he came barging in with Red's Hand clasp and tugging him uncomfortably along. Apparently the idiot left town without a Poke'mon to protect him. Red was always a little slow, always had to have things clearly explained to him before he did anything. No sense of initiative what so ever. I hate him...

Anyway... Gramps stammers about trying to remember my name then Red just coughs my name and he chirps right back up. Senile fool. He remembers Red but he forgets about me... I hate you, Red. Red smiles at me and gives me a genuine and warm smile. I hate him even more.

Why did he always remember you?

The Old man looks puzzled with my presence regardless. I remind him that me and the idiot / lost child he's clutching are both of age to receive Poke'mon. I swear he loves his Poke'mon research more than he loves me. He'll lose all his marbles one day and still know more about a Dewgong swimming in a tank then he would his own Grandson.

He doesn't even talk about Mum and Dad anymore around me...

He wonders back out from the back room with a small trunk. He drops it on the Table in front of us. My First Poke'mon is in that case. Then he unclips it and there are 3 new shiny Poke'balls placed on the inner lining of the case. He releases all 3 in front of us, A Chamander, Bulbasaur and a Squirtle. Well... They are starter Poke'mon, Pretty standard starting Poke'mon, but there is a lot of Potential with these particular 3. Each Third Stage Evolution is a formidable foe in any battle. I look over at Red and let him Pick First, he picks the Chamander, I instantly pick Squirtle.

I smirk and ask Red if he wants to Battle. He agrees and we battle. I destroy him with ease. I picked Squirtle and use my high defense and water advantage over the Chamander fire type. Red is dumbfounded but accepting... I stand triumphantly with my hands on my hips as I belittle him.

It felt great beating him...

It felt better in front of the old Man.

I was almost brashly out the door when the old man hands us both a Poke'dex. The old man was making us go get some research data for him during our quest.

What an asshole...

I agreed... Just so I could keep tabs on Red's progress through my quest.

I kick the door open and set upon my new Quest.

==========

To Be Continued?