You kids like That Tumblr picture shit right? Well here's some easy traffic then....
God dammit Rebecca Sugar, I know you were behind this adorable fucking song.
She's feeding Donald Glover, the guy that seems to be doing everything I'd want to do if I was cool and talented. Internet Famous, Emmy Award Winning Writer for 30 Rock, Stand-Up Comedian, Film and Television Star and now by far the one accomplishment that'll probably be the defining role in his career. Marshall Lee, the male counterpart to Marceline the Vampire Queen in cult hit television show, Adventure Time.
This is essentially what I've learnt from listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast:
Well this and do some fucking squats and eat a fucking steak.
Bear's a fucking killing machines that are really good at Jiu Jitsu. Don't go up and try and befriend a damn Bear, to them you look like just a sack of walking meat. They can't understand you, you standing there dangling a small piece of meat won't stop it from just thinking, "Why would I want the small piece when I can have this big dumb piece right here." And then they will fucking maul you.
Anyway, LET'S WATCH A BEAR FIGHT!!!!
Bear Fight Breakdown:
Alright so the one on the right we'll call Jimmy and he's rolling up to old Franky here. Seems to be a dispute about the territory or at least something about food, one of the two, has to be. So Jimmy is talking all this mad shit and Franky isn't having any of that shit today.
They lock up in a front clench. Franky works the under hooks in his front clench well and rotates Jimmy around but loses his grip and gives up control to Jimmy who uses his over clench on Franky's neck to steady himself back to a stable base. Now back to a stable base for both combatants and they eye each other down. Jimmy know realises he is still the smaller bear in the fight but let's out a defiant roar.
I really really hope it was some kind of Bear profanity, that would just make my day to know that a Bear basically yelled something along the lines of "Fuck You!" during a break in a fight
Both Bear's trundle around feeling each other out at arm's length range, testing whether either can get the upperhand in a strike exchange. Neither seem adept at striking at range when on two feet so Franky shoots in for another front clench. Underhooking the left side of Jimmy and driving low to execute a hip toss to gain a takedown and top position on the ground.
Franky works around to his left as he tries to pass Jimmy's guard. Jimmy though is moving his hips well and maintaining guard. Franky though stops and drives through on the right side and claims side control. Franky has Jimmy in a very vulnerable position as this can often seal victory in a Bear Fight. Claiming Side position and biting the neck of your grounded pinned opponent. School-yard Vampire Wrestling Rules.
But Jimmy is smart and keeps his face close to Franky's and pushes his head against this face so he can't get a clean bite onto his neck and manages to hook his arms onto Franky's body and rotates his body back into front guard position. The Bear reclaims Guard. He does this on instinct, just natural Bear Jiu Jitsu. It's like watching a giant poke'mon grappling fight. Now that's pretty much the climax of the fight as Franky urgently goes for the neck but Jimmy has his feet on Frank's hips and Franky can't get a clean hold of Jimmy's neck because Jimmy keeps pressing his face against Franky's. Jimmy fights off the bite attempt and works his way back to his feet. Franky gives up the clench and both Bear's go back to their all-fours.
Both exhausted from the fight neither continue to engage the other Bear and walk away in separate directions as both leave the battlefield. The Judge's score this round to Franky as he scored the only takedown of the fight and maintained a dominant position through out the fight.
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Brought to you in part from listening to the .Joe Rogan Experience.
"Train by Day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, ALL DAY!" Yeah it doesn't make any damn sense but that's what's so awesome about the quote.
Nick Diaz just finished having a war of a damn fight where he had his face punched in a couple of times and you expect him to speak perfect English, yeah sure whatever.
I love this cover of that Black Eyed Peas song that dominated radiowaves that year, No not that one, the other one.
But this sounds like Hot Chip, low energy electronic dance music that sounds like the backing music to a break-up in a indie movie. You know, trendy fag music.
Professional Wrestling talk right now. Just deal with this, I have to get this out there what you should looking forward to this year at Wrestlemania.
THE GREATEST SELL JOB OF ALL TIME!!!!
A Younger, far more deserving Wrestler will lose on purpose to a man who chooses to wrestle one match a fucking year. Not that he hasn't earned it, it's just fucking ridiculous is what it is.
Alright let's get this clear right off the Bat.
I am firmly on the side that will forever defend, THE STREAK!!! The Undertaker will and should never lose at Wrestlemania. To even say that you will beat The Undertaker in a match at Wrestlemania is an utter lie. You know, I know and your dead grandparents. (You should at least have one if you're reading this now) that if you even think about facing the Undertaker at Wrestlemania you will lose. No matter what the god damn fight is, You will fucking lose to the God Damn Fucking Undertaker.
BECAUSE HE'S THE GOD DAMN FUCKING UNDERTAKER!!!
A DEAD ZOMBIE THAT GOT BURIED ALIVE 3 TIMES... Okay I'll turn off caps locks. Anyway A guy that pretends to be a fucking Zombie. A fucking zombie, What else does he want to be his moniker that doesn't say Zombie? A Cowboy Wizard? Actually if it was me in this situation I'd go with Cowboy Wizard.
I hope he come out this year with a new hairstyle like the Lady Gaga of Wresting. He has the most ridiculous gimmick. A fucking Zombie that turns immortal at Wrestlemania. Just unpin-able. He can't lose, ever. Nope, don't even think about beating the Undertaker because it will never happen at Wrestlemania. It's like a instant zombie twitch that when ever his zombie fucking head boots in his head when he hears a WWE official's hand smack the mat 2 times he will inexplicably kick out before he can hit 3.
Like literally over his dead fucking body will he and should he give up his streak.
And if we're going that way, he should be stabbed with some kind of Indiana Jones Attifact Relic like a glowing fucking knife that took the lives of several search and recovery crews. A lot of good men should of died trying to find the relic capable of defeating the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Yeah, the GDFU. Every other day of the year he is in a Wrestling Zombie Comma where he chooses to come out like a fucking Wrestling Vampire and choose someone from the Full time talent to fucking lose to him.
Who will it be this fucking year?
Who will have the best match against the Undertaker that he will ultimately lose?
It'll probably either be Chris Jericho or CM Punk, what a shame.
The Auto tune the news guys get a go at the famous Kai interview aka. the Homeless Hitch-hiking Hatchet Welding Hero,
It's the beautiful little spiel Kai gives about how everyone is Worthwhile no what their size, skills set or race before he gives the interview of the century. That spiel is the main vocal hook to the remix and it's fantastic. It's inspiring and uplifting and all those other adjectives that generally mean happy.
Good job to the Gregory Bros, even your acoustic cover sounds very pleasant.
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