You kids like That Tumblr picture shit right? Well here's some easy traffic then....
God dammit Rebecca Sugar, I know you were behind this adorable fucking song.
She's feeding Donald Glover, the guy that seems to be doing everything I'd want to do if I was cool and talented. Internet Famous, Emmy Award Winning Writer for 30 Rock, Stand-Up Comedian, Film and Television Star and now by far the one accomplishment that'll probably be the defining role in his career. Marshall Lee, the male counterpart to Marceline the Vampire Queen in cult hit television show, Adventure Time.
This is essentially what I've learnt from listening to the Joe Rogan Podcast:
Well this and do some fucking squats and eat a fucking steak.
Bear's a fucking killing machines that are really good at Jiu Jitsu. Don't go up and try and befriend a damn Bear, to them you look like just a sack of walking meat. They can't understand you, you standing there dangling a small piece of meat won't stop it from just thinking, "Why would I want the small piece when I can have this big dumb piece right here." And then they will fucking maul you.
Anyway, LET'S WATCH A BEAR FIGHT!!!!
Bear Fight Breakdown:
Alright so the one on the right we'll call Jimmy and he's rolling up to old Franky here. Seems to be a dispute about the territory or at least something about food, one of the two, has to be. So Jimmy is talking all this mad shit and Franky isn't having any of that shit today.
They lock up in a front clench. Franky works the under hooks in his front clench well and rotates Jimmy around but loses his grip and gives up control to Jimmy who uses his over clench on Franky's neck to steady himself back to a stable base. Now back to a stable base for both combatants and they eye each other down. Jimmy know realises he is still the smaller bear in the fight but let's out a defiant roar.
I really really hope it was some kind of Bear profanity, that would just make my day to know that a Bear basically yelled something along the lines of "Fuck You!" during a break in a fight
Both Bear's trundle around feeling each other out at arm's length range, testing whether either can get the upperhand in a strike exchange. Neither seem adept at striking at range when on two feet so Franky shoots in for another front clench. Underhooking the left side of Jimmy and driving low to execute a hip toss to gain a takedown and top position on the ground.
Franky works around to his left as he tries to pass Jimmy's guard. Jimmy though is moving his hips well and maintaining guard. Franky though stops and drives through on the right side and claims side control. Franky has Jimmy in a very vulnerable position as this can often seal victory in a Bear Fight. Claiming Side position and biting the neck of your grounded pinned opponent. School-yard Vampire Wrestling Rules.
But Jimmy is smart and keeps his face close to Franky's and pushes his head against this face so he can't get a clean bite onto his neck and manages to hook his arms onto Franky's body and rotates his body back into front guard position. The Bear reclaims Guard. He does this on instinct, just natural Bear Jiu Jitsu. It's like watching a giant poke'mon grappling fight. Now that's pretty much the climax of the fight as Franky urgently goes for the neck but Jimmy has his feet on Frank's hips and Franky can't get a clean hold of Jimmy's neck because Jimmy keeps pressing his face against Franky's. Jimmy fights off the bite attempt and works his way back to his feet. Franky gives up the clench and both Bear's go back to their all-fours.
Both exhausted from the fight neither continue to engage the other Bear and walk away in separate directions as both leave the battlefield. The Judge's score this round to Franky as he scored the only takedown of the fight and maintained a dominant position through out the fight.
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Brought to you in part from listening to the .Joe Rogan Experience.
"Train by Day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, ALL DAY!" Yeah it doesn't make any damn sense but that's what's so awesome about the quote.
Nick Diaz just finished having a war of a damn fight where he had his face punched in a couple of times and you expect him to speak perfect English, yeah sure whatever.
I love this cover of that Black Eyed Peas song that dominated radiowaves that year, No not that one, the other one.
But this sounds like Hot Chip, low energy electronic dance music that sounds like the backing music to a break-up in a indie movie. You know, trendy fag music.
Professional Wrestling talk right now. Just deal with this, I have to get this out there what you should looking forward to this year at Wrestlemania.
THE GREATEST SELL JOB OF ALL TIME!!!!
A Younger, far more deserving Wrestler will lose on purpose to a man who chooses to wrestle one match a fucking year. Not that he hasn't earned it, it's just fucking ridiculous is what it is.
Alright let's get this clear right off the Bat.
I am firmly on the side that will forever defend, THE STREAK!!! The Undertaker will and should never lose at Wrestlemania. To even say that you will beat The Undertaker in a match at Wrestlemania is an utter lie. You know, I know and your dead grandparents. (You should at least have one if you're reading this now) that if you even think about facing the Undertaker at Wrestlemania you will lose. No matter what the god damn fight is, You will fucking lose to the God Damn Fucking Undertaker.
BECAUSE HE'S THE GOD DAMN FUCKING UNDERTAKER!!!
A DEAD ZOMBIE THAT GOT BURIED ALIVE 3 TIMES... Okay I'll turn off caps locks. Anyway A guy that pretends to be a fucking Zombie. A fucking zombie, What else does he want to be his moniker that doesn't say Zombie? A Cowboy Wizard? Actually if it was me in this situation I'd go with Cowboy Wizard.
I hope he come out this year with a new hairstyle like the Lady Gaga of Wresting. He has the most ridiculous gimmick. A fucking Zombie that turns immortal at Wrestlemania. Just unpin-able. He can't lose, ever. Nope, don't even think about beating the Undertaker because it will never happen at Wrestlemania. It's like a instant zombie twitch that when ever his zombie fucking head boots in his head when he hears a WWE official's hand smack the mat 2 times he will inexplicably kick out before he can hit 3.
Like literally over his dead fucking body will he and should he give up his streak.
And if we're going that way, he should be stabbed with some kind of Indiana Jones Attifact Relic like a glowing fucking knife that took the lives of several search and recovery crews. A lot of good men should of died trying to find the relic capable of defeating the Undertaker at Wrestlemania.
Yeah, the GDFU. Every other day of the year he is in a Wrestling Zombie Comma where he chooses to come out like a fucking Wrestling Vampire and choose someone from the Full time talent to fucking lose to him.
Who will it be this fucking year?
Who will have the best match against the Undertaker that he will ultimately lose?
It'll probably either be Chris Jericho or CM Punk, what a shame.
The Auto tune the news guys get a go at the famous Kai interview aka. the Homeless Hitch-hiking Hatchet Welding Hero,
It's the beautiful little spiel Kai gives about how everyone is Worthwhile no what their size, skills set or race before he gives the interview of the century. That spiel is the main vocal hook to the remix and it's fantastic. It's inspiring and uplifting and all those other adjectives that generally mean happy.
Good job to the Gregory Bros, even your acoustic cover sounds very pleasant.
This is the gorgeous video clip for Mister Lies chillstep track "False Astronomy". Obviously this intended to be viewed under a certain state of mind so as the old saying goes. 'Smoke 'em if you got 'em!'
I just threw over some colour filters, motion blurred it a few times, cleaned up using a eraser with a fade brim, yeah that's basically it. Lazy photoshop work I guess.
What do you want from me?
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EMMA WATCH UPDATE (Some of this is lies)
The Beautiful English rose is set to star in Guillermo Del Toro's remake of Beauty and the Beast. Emma Watson, the new Princess Diana is currently enjoying her life in America. Yesterday she wore light pink track pants and a grey tank top outside as she went for a jog at 4 o'clock in the afternoon.
Also, quick evaluation of her trash indicates that she also goes through a lot of skim milk and has a lot of broken belts and soiled purses.
This has been a community service announcement.
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In other news...
Here's Harry Pootter Co-star Daniel Radcliffe being funny.
I just want to take a nice long nap... maybe outside under a tree.
Pfffffffft nah. My bed doesn't seem to be operating at full capacity right now. I feel a little drained and little aggravated for no real reason. Hmmmm this really can't be good for me to resist sleep. My body wants it, it wants it bad.
Screw it, I'm just going to crawl into bed now.
I'll edit this later and tell you about my nap when I get back.
[WATCH THIS SPACE]
Okay Back, had a weird dream, do not feel like sharing this on a blog, I hope you understand...
It was a weird dream and I don't think 5 hrs counts as a nap.
Alright for the handful of people that read this garbage I will confide in you that I actually really like the Spice Girls. They're music while your typical poppy bouncy top 40 nonsense just resonates within me. Maybe it was the subtle brainwashing they had implemented in their music, I can't tell but I don't really mind any of the Spice Girls' songs.
That being said if you were to play their "Stop" around me I would be inclined to do the silly dance they choreographed for the song. It was like the Teenage girl version of the Maccareena.
Why I picked Holler for my 'covenanted' Song of the Day is because of a myriad of reasons.
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1) I actually like this song
2) They released this after Geri (Ginger Spice) left the group and this was kind of like the "We don't need you bitch" song after her departure. Funnily enough this was the last we saw of them as the group disbanded after this Single.
2) The video is some kind of Elemental theme gypsy party where each Spice Girl represents one of the four elements reflective of their personalities. Mel B (Scary Spice) is Fire, Mel C (Sporty Spice) is Earth, Emma (Baby Spice) is Water and Victoria (Posh Spice) is Wind. Of course when all their powers combine they activate GIRL POWER and the weird glass pyramid shoots some kind of Friendship Forever Beam into Space.... It's Weird in a kitsch kind of way.
4) Near the end of the clip they're all sitting around a Holographic table as they summon hot guys to dance for them, the looks that Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) gives when she summons slick dancing Black Guy is just... well fantastic to say the least. She was really enjoying herself. Where as Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) summons a guy that pretty much looks like her Husband and her face changes from unimpressed to slightly less unimpressed.... What a bitch.
5) Because I know you haven't seen this damn song and you've been missing out.
I'm not going to lie, I completely wrote off Bigfoot going into the fight. I thought Overeem would just light him up with strikes and get a TKO victory but nothing prepared me for Bigfoot punching Overeem's face in and the Big dude collapsing like a folding chair in the corner at the start of the 3rd Round.
That's what you get when you try to be Anderson Silva and fight with your hands down, no respect for his opponent and he paid DEARLY. I doubt Bigfoot will get another Shot at Cain Velasquez again anytime soon. Maybe a fight or 2 before he gets another go at him. But even then I don't think he any one in the immediate future possess much of a threat to Cain. That dude is literally on another level when it comes to the Heavyweight Division.
Either way, I'm hoping on the Bigfoot Bandwagon, move across everyone. I would love to a see a fight between Bigfoot and Roy Nelson though, heck I'd take it if he gets JDS next.
Born Katheryn Elizabeth Hudson, with the original stage name of Katy Hudson. This was the old wholesome Katy Perry. Before the push up bras and make-up.
Who the hell is that? That isn't the Katy Perry I'm use to, where are the weird wigs? the stupid prop bras that shoot fireworks and wiped cream? Where are the shady gangster Rappers like Snoop Dogg or Kanye standing around the background?
Yes before she got signed to whatever label has her under lock and key now she use to a good old catholic gospel singer. We know that her parents are super religious which of course is strange when your daughter is known World Wide as being that half naked chick on television shooting shit out of her tits next to Snoop Dogg. (I refuse to say Snoop Lion, you picked Dogg, you gotta stick with it)
But look at that clip for "Simple", it's just her being all cute and Zooey Deschanel levels of quirky as he trollops around Japan lip syncing her song. It's adorable in a indie princess sort of way, very Alanis Morissette. Anyway, I though I'd share this to remind everyone what Katy Perry is probably like when she isn't whoring herself out for money.
Kai the homeless hitch hiking hatchet swinging hero monk from Dogtown. Basically the story is that Kai was catching a lift from this guy that claimed to be the reincarnated Jesus and then he started running people over. When he pinned a guy to a wall Kai got out to check on the guy and the Jesus guy who is reported to be 6'4 and close to 300 pounds grabbed a woman. Worried for her safety and the safety of everyone else around him Kai jumped into action and bashed Jesus's head open with a Hatchet he had handy.
"Smash, Smash, SUH-MASH!... yeah"
What a Champion. I do pray everyone bands together to get you that Mimi Mal surfboard and Wetsuit. I hope the next wave you catch takes you to a big pile of money and a giant medal with an eagle on it.
Sad ending though, The internet is your family now Brother.
So it's come to my attention that Nintendo have been running a new advertising campaign for their hand held device the 3DS entitled "I'm not a Gamer, with my 3DS I'm a....."
Well that's a strange thing to call yourself. Not a gamer even though you are playing THE most recognised video game franchise in existence. Sure you aren't a gamer but rather a gold collecting champion? okay cool whatever. This 'I'm not a gamer' campaign is just... strange.
There's the next one with a really pretty girl.
What the fuck have you done Nintendo?
What is this nonsense? "I'm not a Gamer, with my 3DS. I'm an Artist".
Fuck you Bitch, what the fuck was that you were "playing"? That looks like an instagram tracing app.
I'll give the marketing team credit, they picked a devastatingly gorgeous actress. I don't watch this Glee show that everyone seems to be going on about in the comments and I don't really want to make the room in my head to remember her name but dear lord if I saw that sitting at a cafe holding a 3DS I would lie through my teeth about being a pseudo artist as well.
Flume is the hottest young DJ in Australia at the moment. He had 4 songs rank in the Triple J hottest 100 and he's a Sydney Sider like me too. Even more strange is the fact that I've seen that guy around, I went to school with him.
Trust me I didn't know I had until someone pointed it out to me and then I had to make sure so I went on to Facebook to find out. After doing so he did go to the same school and then I recognised his face. I didn't know him all that well but I do have stories on him because he use to hang out with other people in his year that I know too. But I'm not here to gossip on whatever dumb shit he got up to while he was Teenager.
We were all dumb reckless teenagers once, some of us still choose to act that way because growing up sucks.
Anyway I'm happy for Harley, his track Sleepless is fucking wonderful. He doesn't me touting his skills, everyone already knows he's a pretty good electro-glitch-pop DJ, whatever you wanna call this genre of electronic music, there seems to be a label for all kinds of different electronic dance music these days. All I know is that I like it and I get sent into some kind of primal dance state whenever I hear this song.
Although it is weird to say I went to school with a famous person, it feels like I'm trying to look cool by using their success and indie cred.
Oh that's right I'm on the internet, For all you know, I could be lying.
I'm here as an internet scientist to dispel the notion that white boys can't dance. There are white dude out there that can light a dance floor on fire. Sure we had famous white "dancers" in show business before like the Swivling hips of Elvis to the tinkling toes of Fred Astaire. But their old and Dead so we've entered a new generation where being light skinned didn't mean you were light on your feet.
Let's look at an example:
Yes the Napolean Dynamite Dance Scene, the scene that pretty much made Jon Heder a celebrity for a while a few years ago. I guess he's still a celebrity technically but you know, his "Star Power" is considerably down since then or whatever bullcrap industry buzz word they use to measure their level of exposure.
I sense your doubts though, you aren't convinced. Jon Heder whilst an impressive dancers is an actor, he had the support of crew members and dance choreographers. Who's to say he does actually possess wicked dance skillz?
Well let's look to the Internet to people dancing alone in their rooms, would that seem more natural?
I'm surprised his carpet didn't catch a light from the amazing footwork on display there. What? Still not impressed? What if we were to add a Butterfly Knife to the Occasion?
Hey Grandma, Get me a Beer!
Still not convinced? Well then I present to you Jay Kay or better known as the Dude in the sick hat with the sick dance moves aka. Jamiroquai. Look at this dancing wizardry! LOOK AT IT!
The impressive part of that entire clip is that he made up all the moves on the spot as they fixed the camera to a mobile set on wheels and shot while Jay Kay danced around an empty studio lot. Some simple yet effective camera trickery to give the illusion that Jay Kay is gliding around like a.... ahhhh.... I dunno, A Polar Bear on Ice Skates.
If you still aren't completely convinced here's undeniable proof that White dudes can dance.
Yep, you're out, Pack your things you're done.
Not only did you have one dude trying to dig to china with his crazy moves but we got some lanky dude in the background throwing some fierce air kicks.
Seriously ladies, form an orderly line to the left for Mr. High socks.
An excellent mix of my favourite song at the moment. Frank Ocean's "Lost". So yeah, I guess that makes it Song of the Day.
The clips in the video are from the 2007 Wes Anderson movie 'The Darjeel limited'. A pretty good movie if you ask me, a solid 8 at the most. It's about these 3 brothers that go out and try to have a spiritual journey whilst travelling through Asia to visit their mother. Yeah it's pretentious hipster trash that sells cheap spirituality but you know what.... Fuck you. Some people just need that shit sometimes.
But Anyway...
The main purpose of this entry whilst being my first in a very very long damn time was to talk about Frank Ocean, he's my current musical obsession and in my opinion his debut album Channel Orange should win a stupid industry sponsored trophy award.... thing. What do you call them? Grammys? Yeah, one of those.
Also apparently he and Chris Brown had a Punch Up in a car park this week. Which while childish is pretty rock 'n roll, not quite gangsta but getting in a fight with Chris Brown is quite the story to hear.
If anything I was expecting to hear that Brown hit Ocean (That does sound weird in my head) with a spinning roundhouse kick or at least some bullshit karate. I point to Chris Brown's post Rhianna beatdown single "Yeah 3x" (Yes, I know it's a dumb song name). Check out the striking combination Chris pulls out at 1:30 mark.
It's impressive...
The Balls on him to release a song with that in it right after that whole Rhianna beatdown is just, well I honestly don't know what to make it. Stupid? Bold? Surprising? Dumb? Yeah a combination of those, I can't think of a word.
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