The Weekly Wrap: I Believe in my smelf

Here we are again ending around week on the Internet with the Round-Up.

Kesha is one classy Lady

Just recently Kesha twitted about herself publicly urinating and provoking police actions against such a classy act. I don't like her music and I don't like her as a person but frankly this kind of snobbish rock star attitude has been dead since the 90s and Courtney Love.She admits herself her 15 minutes of fame will eventually be up but until then she's living it up like a Boss... Pissing like a Champion where ever she pleases.

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Greatst Movie Ever Rolled


In celebration of 4:20 this week (Which is such an American thing to do) Hippies, Stoners and potheads celebrated by getting blazed out of their minds last Friday and watched a bunch of dumb cat videos, cartoons and had meandering conversations about meta physics. Either way because of the national "holiday" this movie was brought into light and frankly looks rather amusing. As far as a Morgan Spurlock rip-off film goes, this one looks far more bearable to sit through... Plus it honestly looks like I won't learn a damn thing but will enjoy myself regardless.

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Old Spice - I Believe in my smelf


The people that work at Wieden and Kennedy have what I would consider the best damn job in the World. Working as the Old Spice marketing team. They make some of the most inspiring and creative videos online. I want their damn job, this is Old Spice's latest campaign "Believe in your smelf. It's Brilliant. The I can do anything commercial is my favourite of all the Old Spice commercials, it's just so motivating and stirring.

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Afrian Men Hollywood Stereotypes - Mamahope


This viral video the guys from mamahope.org released for their cause to help get the youth of Africa educated is hilarious. Honestly I don't know all that much about African culture besides the fact that the country seemingly lives in constant poverty, something about blood diamonds and there is War Everywhere. So yeah... pretty much all those stereotypes in the video seemed like truth to me. Guess now I know better...

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News Anchor Fails of 2012


Nothing new about News Anchors making mistakes on a broadcast, but these mishaps are actually rather questionable slips of the tongue rather than a simple honest mistake. Some people just have filthy minds.

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How Hunger Games Should've Ended


The How It Should've Ended series rolls on with it's latest alternative animation in how the Hunger Games should've ended.

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Internet Hall of Fame
http://internethalloffame.org

Just quickly, The Internet Society (I have no idea who they are or what they exactly do, they sound like an Evil Corporation in a Bond Movie) have launched the Internet Hall of Fame and the Class of 2012 is made up of 33 men who have help shape, make and nurture the internet into the juggernaut of global service and information that it is today. Notable inductees are Vice President Al Gore and totted "creator" of the Internet Tim Berners-Lee.

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Carpooling with Bohemian Rhapsody


Well its good to know that there are Cool Dads out there protecting Children from the awful state of Pop music these days... or at least distracting them from it.

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Do You want to touch my Breasts?


God damn Belgium. The Push Button to Add drama wasn't even web recognition Belgium needed on the internet. Now they have gorgeous blonde woman accosting people with her glorious breasts... What a sick and awesome country.


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Slow Jamming with the President


So The President went on Jimmy Fallon to help push for his bid for Re-election. How progressively modern to come onto the Tonight Show just to try and appease to the conman man.

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How to make an Egg Sandwich


<a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/HowToBasic">HowToBasic</a> is a trolling youtube account. None of their tutorial videos are even remotely helpful... But in some autistic ally simple way, they are both hilarious and beautifully crafted pieces of art.

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Introducing






The guys at <a href="http://vimeo.com/user10279926">flavorwire</a> have recently been collecting the film debuts of big name Hollywood stars of today. It's always great to see where and when these celebrities began their trip to the top.

Progression of a guy drowning

On one of my more drunken nights I started climbing the walls of the local pub in one of their fancy sitting rooms. I have no idea why but my trivia friend Bree managed to capture a particular inception-esque moment just ripe for a photoshop make-up. This is kind of self centred image manipulation I've been dying to do lately.
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Now I look like a person that drowned in the Titanic... Well dressed.

The Escape Pod: The Bugle

Another Week another Podcast review. This week I look at the highly acclaimed audio newspaper that is 'The Bugle'. A weekly podcast covering the week that was in international politics and world issues. Hosted by British Comedian Andy Zeitsman and the Daily Show's John Oliver (And of course Prof Ian Duncan from Community). The Bugle is a long running satirical podcast where John and Andy whilst under the careful supervision of their producer Chris, who is constantly berated but also runs marathons.

You should listen to this damn podcast. It is the benchmark when it comes to political commentary and satire. Andy's made up history lessons combined with John's careful and sarcastic scutiny no major world event will go unnoticed without a thorough dress down from the Bugle. The amoral compass to society and life in general.

While it is hard to say which one of their near 200 podcast episodes is their best I'd have to recommend one of their latest episodes #190. Andy's rant about the founding father of America George Washington would be spinning in his grave if he saw what the American political system has become. Andy then put the amazing image of George Washington flying around yelling at Democrats and Republicans screaming. "This wasn't the way it was supposed to go, RAWR GEORGEY MAD!!!"

Download the Episodes Here: The Bugle Feed

What Would happen if they turned off the internet?

If the Internet was Gone: My world would end. How the hell would my spoilt generation of smart phone reliant manchildren be able to function without the use of the internet? The collective hivemind of a socially broken generation that represents itself with idiotic meme worship and social networking.

All of that... Gone.... That would be devastating. Like Natural Disaster level devastating. Would you rather be hit with a Cyclone or lose the Internet?

I personally have grown reliant on the internet for various purposes.

Sexy Picture Purposes aside I use the Internet for: E-Mail, Blogging, Storing of Pictures, Storing and Playing of Games in the Steam Cloud (Online Gaming Account), Social Networking, News Stories, Web Entertainment, Phone Apps, Music, Podcats, TV Shows, Wikipedia (The Encyclopaedia) and a few other services I'm probably forgetting... Oh and Google... I guess.

Oh I wouldn't survive. Heck it would be a body blow if we even lost Youtube or Wikipedia. That may incur Fallout Wasteland rules if the internet was gone. I'd personally like to wish the powers to be that have access to that internet kill switch a pleasant evening. I hope they know that if there is anything I can do to help make the internet a 'better' place then by all means tell me and I'll do what ever you want me to do.

I'd fight a horse to save the internet.

You would have to be an asshole to not suck a dick to save the internet.

Recent Photoshop "Art"

Well I got Photoshop reinstalled on my computer and I haven't all that much with it when it comes to personal pieces. I occasionally throw something together for friends for their facebook vanity needs. Here's what I've done lately.

I made a Deus Ex Human Revolution picture of myself. How selfish...

A Good friend Josh wanted me to make him construct a Skyscraper because he's a Builder and a Fireman and a much better person than me in real life. Finding decent pictures of a sole man building a skyscraper is hard so I just photoshopped him with a bunch of Poke'mon. Josh like every other guy in their early twenties freaking LOVES poke'mon.

Here is a picture from St Patrick's Day many years ago with my two buddies Antony and Jarrad. Jarrad is the one in the ridiculous Hat. Antony you might remember from my Road Warrior Entry.

Alright Friday Weekly Round Up!

Well it's the end of the damn week. Let's see what I've found for you people! That's my duty as a Blogger to go around stealing 'Sharing' other people's content and talking about and judging it on it's merits like some kind of elitist asshole.

Yep...

Integrity Maintained!

This is the best thing in Wrestling right now. This will probably be taken day within the next few days because the WWE are like that now. So yeah, YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! (I know it's stupid, BUT I DON'T CARE!)



Daniel Bryan or known around the internet wrestling community as Sir Internet King God Bryan Danielson has somehow become a martyr for his 18 second Wrestlemania Loss. I don't think you people understand that Daniel Bryan is an internet Legend (in the wrestling circles). The American Dragon is still one of the most respected Wrestlers in the world and now he's a loud obnoxious Vegan that doesn't own a Television. He will now act like a child in front of people.,, Because "Best in the World" was taken

I had a banner to commemorate the moment.

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In Donald Glover related news
That Donald4Spiderman campaign he had running before they casted Spiderman last year got through enough as Donald Glover will be an Easter Egg in the new Spiderman Movie which is awesome news. Eventually that job will be his one day, when the world is a better place and black people and white people will live peacefully with any guilt or racial awkwardness what-so-ever.

Eead more about it: "Donald Glover Spiderman Easter Egg" (Mary Sue):

Donald Glover makes a playlist from all his favourite La Blogatheque Take Away live shows. If you have seen those live shows, you really damn should. Check out the videos on their site here. Anyway the playlist is HERE [PLAYLIST: CHILDISH GAMBINO TAKE AWAY SHOW PLAYLIST Directly compare you taste in music to that of a Black Nerd ruling Television and the Internet. #takingover.

I don't twitter but ending that in some kind of gangsta like hash tag seemed appropriate. Anyway... Motherfucking Childish Gambino listens to trendy cafe music.... BITCH! Like Phoenix - 1901. Fucking


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Devin Graham Breaking the Barrier:

Now its time to be serious.... The entire time watching this all I was thinking was just his voice in that dudes head was "DANCE! MONKEYS! DANCE!" Yeah yeah... I know, I'm going to hell.


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Hot Problems

This is currently the Worst song in the World according to internet trending culture. I still personally think every Soulja Boy song, especially that one about Goku. Seriously this is worse than that.

Soulja Boy - "Goku"

Yeah, you've just lost 20 pts of IQ. Swag is for Boys, Class is for Men seems to apply greatly here.

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Donald Duck (Dogma) Movie


From the Finnish Comedy Group Mid Island> comes a dark and broading skit about a real life adaptation of a Donald Duck movie under the premise of the "Goofy Plz" meme. Fuck You Internet, Ruining Everything.

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Exercising Around the World

In the wake of Nike's makeitcount around the world in 10 days is this video from NerdFitness. Inspired by the Viral Globe Tour 'Where the Hell is Matt' this fine specimen of a human will remind you how lazy and inactive you are right now.

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Meet David [Prometheus Promotional Internet Video]

The viral marketing they're doing for Ridley Scott's Prometheus is amazing. The Trailers don't tell you much about the movie and that's great. This Meet David video gives us a great insight to the dystopic future they have planned for this Sci-Fi Blockbuster. Very excited for the movie... Which is rare these days.

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FreddeGredde Video Game Rock Medley

FreddeGredde Sweddish Internet Musician is famous for his elaborate multi-strument medleys. His latest offering is an epic 10 minute nostalgia bomb of a mix of video game classics and hidden gems. So level up your ears by listening to this impressive mix.


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Japanese Zombie Movie

....What the fuck Japan? Seriously? This is just... Well... You can't get mad at the Japanese for being weird. That just what they do. If this movie actually exists I'll go way out of my way to find and see this.

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Harry Partridge's Latest Work
STARBARIANS - Episode 1

And now for the ridiculously awesome animation of Harry Partridge. Famous for his original Skyrim announcement animation that swept the internet early last year.



and of course he followed it up with this.



Impressive work indeed.

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1050 Bacon strip burger Seriously what do you want to say about this? The customer is always right and get what they want? NO! 1050 Bacon strips is just too damn many. I would personally love to just take a picture of this dude next to this tower of meat and send it to all the starving countries in Africa. ============================== Expect this to get updated more over the Weekend.

The Escape Pod: The Thrilling Adventure Hour

Original Frank and Sadie Doyle Sketch from: Shonborn

I am a confessed podcast addict, often I go to sleep with one blaring in the background of my room and I often wake up part way through another one. Usually I listen to them whenever I'm playing some TF2 or catching a bus or a train somewhere, I've forgone actually listening to modern music to keep abreast of my favourite syndicated audio shows. So each week I'll write up a little review on my current favourites dominating my mp3 player.

First off the ranks is one of my all time favourite podcasts, the Thrilling Adventure Hour which is a monthly podcast series done in the style of an old 1940's radio drama. Written by Ben Acker and Ben Blacker this radio drama has been running since 2005 at the Largo theatre in Los Angeles, It was only in January 2011 dud they start to podcast the show to the internet and by then this monthly show recruits many fine recognised television voice acting talent.

With the amazing writing and the professional voice acting the real wonder is how this show remains free to the public? The Podcast always delivers a fun and enjoyable time listening to one of the many different serials they have running. My Favourite amongst them is Sparks Nevada Marshal on Mars. Which is about a Space Marshall named Sparks Nervada (Marc Evan Jackson) that keeps the Peace on Mars from Space Criminals and Robots with his Martian Companion Crouch the Tracker (Mark Gagliardi) along with help from The Red Plains Rider (Busy Philipps) and Cactoid Jim (Nathan Fillion). Done in the style of a Space Western series Sparks Nervada Marshall on Mars is a fun combination of intergalactic shenanigans mixed with strange and awkward love affairs.

The other most common reoccurring series on the show is Beyond Belief which follows the lives of two high society mediums of Frank and Sadie Doyle (Paul F Tompkins & Paget Brewster). They are a rather jovial married couple that drink excessively and solve paranormal mysteries. Their drunken witty banter is the highlight of each episode as their aimless decadence often find them in hilarious and insane scenarios.

With fake cigarette sponsorship branding from Patriot cigarettes the podcast is deeply entrenched by its rich 1940's radio serial style. There are the occasion deviation from Sparks Nevada and Beyond Belief on the podcast when they air another of their other less common reoccurring segments. Those include.

Jefferson Reid, Ace American, Amelia Earhart: Fearless Flyer, The Adventures of Captain Laserbeam, The Cross Time Adventures of Colonel Tick-Tock, Jumbo the Elephant, Tales from the Black Lagoon, Moonshine Holler and Spinoff of Sparks Nevada Cactoid Jim, King of the Martian Frontier! A lot of those sound like amazing 1940's black and white movies that involve car crashes and exploding planes.

My Opinion on the Podcast?
The Thrilling Adventure Hour is Great, whilst the Podcasts usually only run from anywhere between 15 to 30 minutes and are released on a weekly to bi-weekly rate. (The Stage show where they record more than one show at a time I assume runs for a full hour or more). It's a great way to spend 20 to 30 minutes when you're on a bus somewhere or just want to listen to good old radio drama. The voice acting and stage sound design is magnificent, the writing is smart and snappy and the stories are engaging. There really is no excuse for people not to listen to this podcast.

If I had to recommend a particular episode I would say any of the Beyond Belief is easy to pick up from anywhere but my favourite Beyond Belief episode still remains #42: White Hunter, Drunk Heart. Sparks Nevada is more enjoyable listening in order so you can hear the introductions of each of the Characters that later return, especially Cactoid Jim voiced by Nathan Fillion who receives an extended ovation for just being in the room. However Episode #52 Christmas on Mars was a Christmas Special that featured all the main reoccurring shows and probably my personal favourite of the entire series.

It's Funny, Smart, Well Written stage comedy... Why more could you want from a free podcast?

Thrilling Adventure Hour Website
Thrilling Adventure Hour iTunes page

Steven Seagal's Legacy will live on

Steven Seagal is a Martial Arts Legend and a pretty famous movie star as well, Sometimes its easy to joke about his career to ignore the fact that he can still legitimately whoop most people's asses and his age and shape. Now everyone knows about his particular brand of bullshit Karate that he utilises in his movies called Akido to dispatch of countless goons, thugs, bad-asses, tough guys, drug dealers, and people in the wrong place at the wrong time. As it is a internationally recognised form of martial arts the lengths he uses it is down right ridiculous at times, I swear it looks like he just accidentally maims people with a stray karate chop but I guess that's what happens when you have a 7 degree (7th Dan) Black Belt in Akido.

Here is some promotional footage of him teaching the Greatest Pound for Pound Fighter in the UFC, Anderson Silva some basic Akido counters and strikes. According to Steven himself he was the one that trained Anderson to use that infamous front kick he used on Belfort. You know that kick that you saw plastered everywhere to promote the UFC 3 Undisputed game.



Steven Seagal is notorious for having ridiculously titled movies. They have this distinct way of sounding like a B grade 90s action film. That and a lot of his movies have his name as the Header like Steven Seagal is HARD TO KILL or Steven Seagal is OUT FOR JUSTICE. The crew over at Pop Chart Lab's have compiled a nice pie chart (Because that's what they do) of Steven Seagal's movie titles and how they grammatically breakdown.

Besides being a Master of Bullshit Karate and a Action Movie Star he is also a kind and gentle soul with the heart of a poet. Steven Seagal makes Jazzy Blues style Rock folk music. Its near impossible to put into words but it is music from his very soul. His Soul is like a Well of emotions and his songs are a reflection of what he draws from that deep spiritual place from within. Just listen to a sample of his music from the album 'Songs from the Crystal Cave'. Here is the music video for "Girl it's Alright". Prepare to be lifted away into complete and utter blissful rapture.



Pretty good huh? Well nothing I can say can prepare you for this cover of Lollipop...



If being whisked away to a musical dreamland wasn't enough, Steven Seagal also has manufactured and coined his own energy drink. Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt. This commercial is probably the worst energy drink commercial you'll ever damn see. But.... You know, it's.... Uhhhh.... Ridiculous.... No I can't save this. It's an awful and terribly acted commercial but I still do strangely want to try Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt.



Just to round out this entry and to reflect the overall legeacy of Steven Seagal, Ken McIntyre flash animated a crude little series called 'The Steven Seagal Show'. Over the top and exaggerated it is a hilarious cartoon parody of Steven.

Top 5: TV Boobs

I don't have to justify this and yes I know I am blogging some Highbrow stuff here. I haven't got much to talk about today so let's objectify these talented ladies. Today's let's countdown the TOP 5 Boobs on Television. News Anchors and Presenters don't count because I don't watch News on Television any more... WHO THE HELL DOES?

Honourable Mentions: Hannah Simone (New Girl)


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5) Kat Dennings (2 Broke Girls)
Cup Size: 38DD
Age: 25
Other Famous Roles:
Marla (40 year Old Virgin)
Norah (Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist)
Darcy (Thor)

Well... It's not a very good show but Kat Dennings more makes up for it in the bust department. Sure it's not her fault it's a bad show, but it really does mare my enjoyment of her fine body. Yep I felt creepy typing that... You don't have to say anything. But you got to admit, she does have a great set on her.

But let's be clear, 2 Broke Girls is an awful show, But Kat Dennings has her charms as that cool indie nerd chick that is too cool to care about what people think of her. At least that's how I've always seen her... Thanks to her weird vlogs.

Kat Dennings vlogs / YouTube Channel: HERE



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4) Sara Jean Underwood (Attack of the Show)
Cup Size: 32B
Age: 28
Famous For:
Playboy Playmate of the Month July 2006
Playboy Playmate of the Year 2007

She has a high nasally voice and is quite short (5'3) but you honestly can't deny that Sara Underwood is a stone cold hottie. She's one of the main reasons Attack of the Show seems to stay on the air. Her amazing cosplay outfits seem to take up a good portion of her wardrobe on the show now. Heck, if anything I had to give her points for her Superhero alter ego, Bustice.



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3) Sofia Vergara (Modern Family)
Cup Size: 34DD
Age: 39
Other Famous Roles:
Sofi (Four Brothers)
Ava (New Years Eve)
Carmen (Happy Feet Two)

Modern Family has an amazing cast of actors and I would rank Sofia as one of the funniest on the show. She's also the Hottest, Julia Bowen is pretty too but doesn't quite measure up to this Colombian Bombshell. Heck she was voted Most Desirable Women Alive by AskMen.com last year and at 39 she is one hell of a MILF.




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2) Allison Brie (Community)
Cup Size: 32C
Age: 29
Other Famous Roles:
Trudy (Mad Men)
Rebecca Walters (Scream 4)

Yes there maybe some bias here and I do love the show Community but hell the amount of attention given to Allison Brie's chest is more than enough to justify this ranking. There is a monkey on the show called Anne's Boobs... They're so awesome they named a pet monkey after them. Also whenever there is a moment where her gals are out and about the internet jumps all over the moment like a rash and immortalises them in gif form. The most famous one coming from Season 2's Paint-ball Finale episode.



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1) Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Cup Size: 38DDD
Age: 36
Other Famous Roles:
Saffron (Firefly)
Olivia Canton (Life)

Was there actually any doubt she'd top the list? Her Boobs have reached a near god like reputation. There are cases of blind people regaining their sight when pictures of Christina Hendricks have been held up in front of them. Her Breasts are that amazing! Heck 38 Triple D just sounds made up, although that measurement hasn't been officially confirmed like the rest of these girls... You'd have to think it would be pretty close to the mark. I don't know if anything I'm typing makes sense... My brain ceases at certain points of thought around girls that gorgeous.

The Weekly Video Round Up

Thought I'd start this tradition back up from my previous Midnight Channel Blog. This is a collection of top trending viral videos that were all over the internet this week that I stumbled across. Hope you like it, it was a particularly good week on the internet content wise.

"I'm Han Solo" Star Wars Kinect

Do you enjoy watching the Star Wars franchise being further driving into the ground? Well look no further than Star Wars kinect as you watch your childhood heroes dance to star wars parodied pop songs. Yes something inside you will die but a part of me kinda likes the ridiculousness of it all.

Celebrity Callers on Fraiser

The Cheers spin off Fraiser ran for 11 Seasons the same amount as Cheers itself didm suffice to say the show was a rousing hit and was quite a sophisticated comedy for its time. Over the course of those 11 years there were many Celebrity cameo's on the show. Many of which I never knew about until now as they were all Call-in listeners on Fraiser's radio talk show.

Nike #MakeItCount

A nice free spirited nike promotion for their Make it Count campaign. I'm not too sure what it all means but the guys that put this together seem to have done a great job with it. What these guys managed to accomplish in 10 days is pretty impressive and well... I guess they really did Make it Count. (Groan)

Don't Stop Believing Movie Supercut

This took a million hours of editing so its only fair that people notice this video. This is the Journey hit song "Don't Stop Believing" sung by the Movies.

World's Largest Rube Goldberg Machine

This fine Engineering team at Purdue University have broken their own Guinness World Record for the largest Rube Goldberg machine. This 300 Step monster of an contraption does the simple task of blowing a balloon and popping it. It's kind of cool... But you have to wonder how many weeks they spent planning and building this thing.

An Honest Look at Titanic 3D

The crew over at ScreenJunkies have been making Honest Movie trailers as of late, the hilariously snide and sarcastic voice over really do point out a lot of discrepancies in Titanic. I have never seen Titanic because... Why would I? The Boat sank right? 3 and a Half Hours? Why would I watch something for 3 hours that I already the ending of? I didn't see the Passion of the Christ on the same principle as well.

Push to Add Drama

Publicity Stunts are a dime a dozen these days with flashmobs and parody commercials all over the internet. So if you really want to get noticed you have to go big or go home. So in Belgium (Of all places?) a new Television Channel TNT set up a button in a quiet city square that reads on it "Push to add Drama" to help promote their launch. All I can say that this is pretty awesome... But it looks pretty damn expensive.

Celebrity for a Day

Who's Thomas Elliot? He's a famous actor right? A group of guys got together at a mall and convinced the mall goers there that their friend was a bona fide celebrity and it worked! They managed to get a Security escort and a whole group of impressionable girls to follow him around screaming Thomas's name.

The Walking Mad Men

The team at Barely Political make a lot of great parody material but this has to be one of their finest works to date. The acting is pretty damn good and they manage to capture and combine the essence of both shows brilliantly.

Blow Out Sale

Danny Pudi is the man, him and his two friends Timothy Kendall and Chris Marrs filmed this short action film about two rival furniture salesman. What starts off as friendly competition turns quickly into a heated fire fight.

Henri Part 2

Just when you think the internet is full of enough Cat Videos, someone comes along makes one so deep with insight and smothered in existentialism that you just fall back in love with Cats again. I mean I hate Cats themselves but they're what keep the internet running.

Caine's Arcade

This is the Best Video of the Week... A 9 Year boy named Caine makes his own DIY cardboard Arcade out the front of his Dad's auto parts store and all he wants is for someone to come and play. It's the most adorable and inspiring video's I've ever seen.

What would you say to a Million People?

Website: The Listerve

Everyday one person will be able to send an Email to A Million People all over the World.

This is a cute promotion, I have no idea what they might be selling. It seems too "We are the World" to be genuine to me but who knows? Maybe its a social experiment in hopes of bringing out the best in humanity... or what's left of it anyway.

The real question is what would you say to a Million People? If your single email could be read by that many people what could you say? It honestly seems like a lot of pressure if you were a Lucky Winner to me. Pressure to say something meaningful and inspirational.

Would you wish everyone on the mailing list a Nice Day? Would you give them a heartbreaking tale of loss? Would you shamelessly promote your work? There are a lot of ways people could use or exploit this 'e-mail lottery'.

If I was selected I wouldn't have a clue on what to say to the World. Maybe tell them something about myself? Maybe talk about my insecurities or dreams or hobbies? My one opportunity to have my voice heard around the World and I would probably freeze. I'd probably agonise over it, losing sleep and cursing myself days afterwards for the email I do send not living up to my own high rigid standards.

Currently there are only 6,500 subscribers to the e-mail lottery and they'll launch the operation once they hit 10,000. Yeah I know what you're thinking, 10,000 isn't 1,000,000 people, these guys are big fat liars. Let's not listen! Well this initiative started yesterday so give it some damn time. Ten Thousand people is still a lot of people.

I'm still not sure if I'll sign up on the off chance that I might end up being a "Lucky" winner and I blow my spot by talking about something inane like my concerns about shifting weather patterns.

Its really cold here... That's the only thing I have to talk about. I literally have a blanket draped around me and it's the middle of the damn day here.

A part of me really just wants to ironically post the lyrics to the Saddle Club Theme "Hello World".

Are you a Boy or a Man?

God Damn Ryan Gosling

Ryan Gosling is an absurdly attractive man, ask any woman who their current celebrity crush is at the moment at least 70% would say Ryan Gosling. The other 30% would be comprized of Athletes and then Maybe Bradley Cooper, then maybe George Cloney or Joseph Gordon Levitt. But why would you ask a women that question anyway? They don't know what they want, But the internet sure does and the internet freaking loves Ryan.

Also while we're on the topic of attractive men I never saw what was the big deal about Johnny Depp was anyway, he's very talented and a great father but he Looks like a Meerkat to me.

Seriously am I the only one that sees the resemblance?

While I will begrudgingly admit that Gosling is indeed a talented Canadian Actor. (I make note that he's Canadian because usually more Canadian actors work in Comedy) He's celebrity status has gained him his own internet meme. The 'Fuck Yeah! Ryan Gsoling' tumblr blog started the "Hey Girl" meme in January of 2008. Before this recent Gosling love parade. The Hey Girl meme basically gets pictures of Ryan Gosling with the phrase Hey Girl printed on it accompanied with a sweet message you'd expect him to seductively say to a woman. It's a dumb meme but it's insanely popular.









Anyway I'm not here to go on about the Hey Girl meme, I'm here to complain about the fact that he continues to come up with ways to make people love him further. Being Handsome and Talented isn't enough for this greedy son of a bitch. Just last year he went around New York stopping a fight between a Street Vendor and a customer. The Description for the Video is easily the best thing about the video though.

Two dudes are fighting in the middle of the street in NYC. (Typical.) They're playing tug-o-war over a painting (less typical) and while a girl is filming this ridic fight, literally OUT OF NOWHERE Ryan Gosling walks in (REALLY REALLY not typical). He steps into the quarrel and when he spots this altercation, he immediately tries to break it up (HEART OF GOLD!). Ryan drops his shopping bag (NOT MATERIALISTIC!) and throws his GIANT, THROBBING man muscle of an arm against the perpetrator and when he spots Ry Ry's huge guns, he throws his hands up in defeat. By some crazy stroke of luck, Ryan decided to wear a striped and nautical-inspired tank the VERY day his bulging biceps would come in handy. THEREFORE, his tank top basically saved the day. Would the story have played out differently if he was wearing a baggy hoodie? YES. You can't see all that rock hard steel beneath layers of cotton, people. Pure brawn speaks louder than any words you could POSSIBLY say to these angry gentleman, and for THAT, we should all give a nice, HUGE round of applause to Ryan Gosling's tank top. It saved the day AND gave us a nice show of what those bad boys can do.

Now that description is hilarious but Not only is he running around breaking up street fights, he's saving Women from the Traffic. Laurie Penny an English Writer tweeted last week about how Ryan had saved her from being run over in Downtown New York.

Now I've got that song "Real Hero" from the Drive soundtrack in my head. It seems oddly appropriate to bring that up and to post that here too.



Does anyone else remember that he was in Remember the Titans? Yeah me neither...



On a closing note I've think I've cracked the secret behind Ryan Gosling's appeal. The Power Lift! Women go crazy for a man with big burly arms that they can just jump onto and suck face. It's a Power More for Power Players and it seems to work. Heck the cover poster for The Notebook is him Powerlifting Rachal McAdams into another soft yet tight embrace.



God Damn Ryan Gosling... How the hell are normal guys supposed to compete with this guy? He can even power lift grown men! Here's him lifting Today Show Weatherman Al Roker.



I'm gonna go now and lift some heavy things and hold them ever so gently.

Don't be Machine Men....

After finishing Deus Ex: Human Revolution the other day I was reminded of this...



This amazing speech was from the the 1940 film the Great Dictator, a comedy film produced, written, directed and starring comedy legend Charlie Chaplin. At the time the United States was still at peace with Germany so Chaplin's condemnation of Hitler and his fascist regime was a controversial topic. Of course eventually the world saw that his criticism were well placed after they found out what he was doing in Germany at the time. But according to a eye witness account Hitler had actually seen the film twice. Apparently when Chaplin found out about this he replied by saying "I'd give anything to know what he thought of it".

So do I...

While that is an amazing factoid in itself the amazing speech Chaplin delivers in the film's finale is constantly cited as a classic Hollywood moment. This was Chaplin's first speaking movie and he slaved over the speech to ensure that each word served a purpose and wasn't wasted. It's a magnificent speech that outlines the true lost nature of humanity as we strive for excellence and reminds us what we've lost when consumed by violence, hatred and greed. It's with these amazing leaps and bounds that this progress is costing the human race its own humanity. This was made 70 years ago and this message rings louder today then it has ever before. A truly timeless message and rightfully so this film was selected to be preserved by the United States National Film Registry.

Charlie Chaplin speaks in silence, and silences us when he speaks.

Louie Louie

Louis CK is the man right now, he is at the top of the comedy mountain. Voted GQ magazine's 2011 Man of the Year and one of TIME's people that mattered in 2011. He has had an amazing past few years and his show Louie is a standing testament to his work and talent. I honestly think it is the best comedy show on television, it may not be the funniest comedy show but it is the most brutally honest.



Louis CK writes, stars, directs and edits it all and it is some of the of most compelling, thought provoking and touching television I've ever seen. Its not so much of a sitcom as it is a running commentary on modern life where there are no restrictions on what topics are brought up from things like love and war to masturbation and suicide. After the finale of Season two I wait with aching anticipation for the third season. A show this abstract and original really does make you crave more and more of it when there is nothing else like it on television. The downbeat, low key themes of the show are like life skits that Louis CK brings up in his comedy routine but a explored to on deeper levels. Louis is a divorced single father in his early forties just getting through life one shitty day at a time.

This clip from the show about Hecklers perfectly encapsulates the show. It shows how crude and funny Louie is with stand up and how it can get dark and confronting soon after.



The quality of great guest stars he has on are a major part of the show as they represent how Louie deals with new people and experiences in his daily life. Ricky Gervais has a small reoccurring role as Louie's prankster physician that often mocks and patronises Louie whenever he's called upon. While Louie was doing a stand up gig in Vegas he had on Joan Rivers to give Louie some career advice and perspective to remind him that in the comedy game there are ups and downs and you have to take what you can get. A great gag was shared about how she bitterly resents the re-emergence of Betty White and the place of woman comedians at her delicate age. But arguably the best guest star moment came from Dane Cook who had an alarmingly real conversation with Louis about how Dane had his time in the Sun as the top comedian in 2006 marred because people all over the internet claimed that he stole jokes from Louie. It was just amazing watching them talk so openly about it, it grounded them both men and I respected Dane Cook a whole lot more afterwards for agreeing to do the scene.

"Louie you know what is the biggest lie in the world is? That I'm some Rockstar, I'm a Millionaire, I'm a comedy behemoth. You're like a comic's comic, you're an inside joke guy and I'm a sellout and I sold my soul and you have artistic integrity and You're a Good guy... We're in this room right now, right now you looking at me. You let your name be used to hurt me. And now you're asking me to use my fame to get you tickets to Lady Gaga! I mean how shitty do you feel right now?"

Its a dark comedy, there are light moments of brilliance here and there but most of the time its really just an outlet that Louis CK uses to express some of his darkest thoughts and insecurities as a middle aged stand up comedian. Louis CK is a genius and an amazing stand up talent. I personally don't think we could ask any more of this man after he donated a quarter of a million dollars to charity from the online sales of his latest Live show at the Beacon Theatre.

While this is Louie's time at the top I can say I'm greatly enjoying it. He often seems confused with his current rise to mega stardom as he just want to preform and write jokes but at the moment Jouis CK is untouchable and I hope to see a few more years of brilliance from the man before he gracefully returns back to the under card. Here is his most viral pieces that he did on a interview segment on Late Night with Conan O'Brien years ago.



Also before I forget, you should check out his personal YouTube channel where he posts skits, scenes from the show, promos and vlogs. Season 3 of Louie starts up again on June 28th on FX, be sure to catch it.

YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/louisck

David Bowie The Real Doctor

Here is a David Bowie piece I threw together with some photos from a Google search in Photoshop.



Whenever I watch Doctor Who I usually think to myself, Why hasn't David Bowie ever been on this show? Its been running for nearly 50 years and not once has the English music icon even appeared on the show. It honestly seems custom made for him as he is of course the Starman Ziggy Stardust. I like to think Doctor Who is influenced by his secret second life and that David Bowie would have his own Time Machine hidden away somewhere in house as he shoots around time and space on his days off, I honestly can't be the only one to think this...



On the Venture Bros television show David Bowie is used brilliantly as the head of the Guild of Calamitous Intent. Under the moniker of 'The Sovereign' he is a Shape shifter and takes the forms of whatever or whoever he pleases. This is a testament to his ability to adapt to new musical styles over his career and also as a nod to his Character as the Goblin King in the 1986 fantasy film Labyrinth.

I doubt he'd be up to pretend to be a eccentric space travelling wizard any more these days. He seems to be enjoying his twilight years out of the spotlight, reading up on him I found out he declined a Knighthood from the Queen stating "It's not what I spent my life working for". In Doctor lore there are 13 reincarnations of the Doctor and currently Matt Smith is number 11, while David Bowie is no spring chicken at 65 years old I would love to see the man play the Doctor, highly doubtful but hey the first Doctor played by William Hartnell started when he was 55 so it isn't an impossibility. (Okay I know its not going to happen)

But I would like to see David Bowie in the show, You know it would just validate the series that much more if they had him on it in some fashion or another.

But how would you write David Bowie into a modern version of Doctor Who?

Maybe as a cameo appearance on an episode I'd write him in as a fellow Time Lord renegade like the Doctor but on his 13th reincarnation cycle. He'd be well deserved dapper gentleman who uses a pocket watch to time travel. He's living out his final days helping out other travellers imparting treasures and wisdom from his adventures and just seeing the wonders of the Universe. With his age he's come to recognise the universal appeal and power of music and uses it to communicate with creatures from all over the universe and instils that message into the Doctor to help him on his way.

David could then make a joke about visiting a place on Earth called London where he once spent a life-cycle as an International musician that would sing songs about his travels.

I'd geek out pretty hard if they were to ever do something like that.

The Hunger Games Phenomenon

I'm not a Taylor Swift fan by any means but this is a lovely song

Its hard to escape the Hunger Games right now, it is basically THE movie to see at the moment. I personally just finished the series early last month after listening to it via Audio book just in time before the movie and I have to say it was quite good, not amazing but good. I don't read that many young adult books, beck I don't read that many books period but I still rate the Harry Potter series above all the other Young Adult fiction I've ever read.

The author of the series Suzanne Collins stated that she got the idea for the Hunger Games when she was flicking through television channels late one night and saw footage from the War in Iraq get blurred in with Reality Television (I assume she probably saw an ad for Survivor) and got the idea of a War situation reality television show. Also influenced by Gladiator games lottery systems used by the ancient Greeks as the picking system held by the oppressive government.

After absorbing the books and watching the movie I can say the movie did a great job adapting the source material. Especially since Suzanne Collins herself worked on the screenplay and director Gary Ross did a great job directing it. Many have described the movie as a combination of various films and books lie Running Man, Lord of the Flies, Surviving the Game, 1984, Brave New World, Battle Royale and the Truman Show.

I thought the cast of the Hunger Games did a great job especially Jennifer Lawrence who played Katniss Everdean and did a great job carrying the character through the movie. I was particularly surprised with how they handle Effie Trinket as comic relief played by the wonderfully talented Elizabeth Banks. Woody Harrison was a great Haymitch in fact I'm pretty sure he wasn't acting most of the time anyway, he's always had that laid back drunken swagger. Donald Sutherland played President Snow who had a much larger presence in the film adaptation than the book but hey when you get a mega talented big star like Dutherland you want to use him as much as you can.

Now beside the Hunger Games the central plot of the series is the strange love triangle between Katniss and her two male suitors in her Best friend and Hunting partner Gale the baker boy and fellow tribute who has secretly been in love with her since they were kids Peeta. Played by Liam Hemsworth and Josh Hutcherson they both do an adequette job in their roles although I do hate that the love triangle directly pairs it in its likeness to that of the Twilight series. Enough that there really is a split amoungst fans who side with either "Team Peeta" or "Team Gale". I personally hated that aspect of the book, how oblivious Katniss was and how she acted through out the series towards them both, a part of me wished she died alone... But I'm just a jaded asshole.

Strangely enough there has been a ton of backlash on twitter over the fact that the District 11 Tributes (Amandla Stenberg and Dayo Okeniyi)and Katniss's Stylist Cinna (Lenny Kravitz) were played by black actors. Some viewers claiming that because they were black they felt felt less connected to them and "Ruined the movie", especially Rue who has a particularly powerful moment in the in the Hunger Games with Katniss. While the tributes from District 11 were descried to have "dark brown skin" which by all accounts means black to me people somehow pictured white people....What? And Lenny Kravitz shouldn't be Cinna? What? NO! Although it was never described what skin colour Cinna had in the books Lenny Kravitz had all the characteristics down pat, handsome, reassuring, a sense of warmth and a calm soothing voice. Lenny Kravitz's voice is like listening to a softly spoken lullaby.

While being a big budget film because of its massive cult following its actually deserving of its budget. Granted the aggressive marketing helped get the word out, I personally couldn't go one day without seeing at least 3 mentions of the movie whether it be on the side of buses or bus stops, on television, banners and trailers on the internet, discussions on forums and blogs. The Marketing Team really out did themselves to get the word out for the Hunger Games movie.

So on opening day it pulled a global box office haul of 214 Million Dollars and 155 Million on that weekend alone in the United States. This movie is massive commercial success and critically acclaimed as well as it sits on a 86% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

However with all the hype and talk going around for the movie the term coined for fans of the series is The Hungerlings, which sounds just as bad as Twihards. Either way here is a collection of Hunger Games related parody material the internet has to offer. There is way to many of those parody videos on the internet... Here are the ones that I could stomach.

The Hungover Games from Ashley Hinshaw